06 September 2023 , 15:58
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A mum who had been planning to have a secret affair once her kids had gone back to school has had her plans scuppered by the RAAC concrete crisis. Her children have been ordered to stay at home while the crumbling concrete is fixed, putting paid to her plans to cheat.
The anonymous woman, from Essex, admitted she had organised a meet-up with her mystery man as soon as she dropped her kids off at school for the first day of term, but now thinks her romp "might be over" because she'll have to stay at home with her kids instead. She admitted she feels "guilty" for letting her secret lover down, but at the same time feels just as bad for not being happy that she gets to spend extra time with her children.
The anonymous mum was going to visit her lover after dropping her kids at school (stock photo) (PA)Fears over crumbling concrete forced the Government to order more than 100 schools to shut or close off parts of their buildings only days before the start of term. Another 50 schools had already been told to make repairs. The Government only released the full list of schools impacted today after several days of misery for parents and teachers, and at the time of the mum's confession, she was unsure whether her kids' school would be closed.
Posting to the married dating user forum Illicit Encounters, the 39-year-old woman - who named herself WendyM1567 on the website - wrote: "I know this might sound terrible, but in the past few weeks I have been planning to meet a lover I met online as soon as I dropped the kids off. It's not the first time I have had an affair, but I had been planning it for when the kids go back as I have more time to myself.
"It's my little secret and I've been building up and so excited for this to happen and now it might be over. Now I don't know what to do, what do I say to my lover? I feel guilt for him and for the kids. I need advice."
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Other members of the site were quick to give the mum helpful advice, with many of them telling her not to feel guilty over something she can't change. One person said: "Try not to feel guilty. Go with what your gut tells you and just remember that it's real life, these kinds of things happen. If your lover is worth it then they'll completely understand whatever you decide."
While another added: "Why would it be over? If the school isn't opening, you'd already know about it I'm sure! Worst case you have to postpone meeting your lover for a few weeks - frustrating (in all sense of the word!!) but real life comes first," and a third posted: "Two things ... as has been said below - if he is keen he will wait, things happen. Your guilt ... why do you feel guilty? Obviously, I would say kids and family should always come first. Don't feel guilty about your lover; he will wait if it is meant to be."
Meanwhile, Jessica Leoni, a sex and relationships expert at Illicit Encounters, said that the website often sees an increase in sign-ups over September as people often look for affairs to help them "decompress" after the busy school holidays. Shocking research from the controversial site revealed 68 percent of the 2,000 members polled "actively considered" an affair once a new term school started, with "more time", "stress", and "build-up of tension with spouse" all listed as reasons for seeking an affair.
Commenting on the anonymous woman's case, Jessica said: "Clearly the excitement and thrill of planning an affair when her kids returned to school has been kiboshed by school closures, and that's triggered an overwhelming sense of guilt on whether meeting a lover was 'right' in the first place.
"The unfortunate circumstances will have WendyM1567 thinking 'It's a sign it shouldn't happen' or 'It's not meant to be' - leaving her even more confused. In the short term, my advice is she focuses on the situation with the kids and their education. Exploring an affair can wait."