DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother is a serial cheat, and I still can’t forgive her for having affairs behind my stepdad’s back when I was a teenager.
She never hid her cheating – even though I was only a young girl – and to this day that makes me feel sick. My stepdad still has no idea.
I’m now 36 and she is 60. My stepdad is 65.
They have been married for 20 years and act like everything is perfect.
I think she needs him now because she’s getting old, and no one else is interested.
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She cheated with three different men, bringing them back to our house when my stepdad was at work.
I’d hide in my bedroom and cover my ears so I couldn’t hear them having sex.
When I told her it was wrong, she said she would stop, but she didn’t.
Now I’m an adult, I act like things are normal between us. But I hate her and wish she’d get her just deserts.
She seems happy as Larry, while I’m miserable.
Sometimes, I think I should say or do something to ruin her marriage, but that would not be fair to my stepdad.
DEIDRE SAYS: You have so much unresolved anger towards your mother.
It’s understandable. She appears to have got away scot-free, while you are still suffering.
But it’s possible your stepdad might have chosen to turn a blind eye.
None of us knows exactly what goes on in other people’s relationships.
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Feeling this amount of anger and hatred isn’t healthy. It might help to talk to your mum and tell her how much this has hurt you.
Before you do, speak to a counsellor, who can help you deal with your feelings.
My support pack on counselling can help.