A woman with a rare condition is dreading eating Christmas dinner with her family this year, as it often ends with her storming out.
Louise Lansbury is gearing herself up to sit around the dining table with her loved ones as they scoff their faces with turkey, roast potatoes and pigs in blankets on Christmas Day. She usually eats as quickly as she can before removing herself from the room, so she doesn't "lash out in a rage".
The 34-year-old has a disorder called misophonia, which means she suffers from extreme sensitivity to sounds, and hearing other people eat can make her frustrated and angry. Louise says sitting down with her family for their annual festive feast is a 'nightmare' and she already feels worried about the meal.
"My anxiety about going out this year is quite high, even going to my parents," Louise, from Southampton, said. "I usually eat as quickly as I can, then remove myself, before going back to my room, so I don't lash out in a rage." She struggles with other noises too and recalls the condition causing her issues growing up - but now, she's learned to live with it.
"I've always had very sensitive hearing, things always seemed louder to me than others around me," Louise explained. "When I became angry, I would act up as a child. When living with my parents, I would lash out, have a go at anyone eating loudly, run to my room, and stay there in silence.
Family's Xmas Day 'ruined' as they leave pub unfed after hour wait for table"As I got older, I realised that certain sounds started to make me feel angry and in the last 10 or so years, it has turned into rage. So I avoid eating with people at all costs, as if I don't remove myself from the situation, I'm afraid I'll lash out. I've had to learn how to control the anger and rage, where I simply walk away."
While she does try to eat out with friends occasionally, as noisy restaurants help to mask the sound, Louise often turns to eating a takeaway in the car with them instead, where she can play her own music. If she's not able to do this, she will use a Bluetooth headband or headphones to play relaxing songs, alongside a grounding technique called butterfly breathing.
"It makes a rumbling noise in my ears - I have no idea how I do it, but it works. I use this in extreme situations, as doing it for too long can give me a headache that can hurt the inside of my ears. It can be quite difficult some days. Sometimes, I can sit in silence and other times, I have to have music on," she explained.
Instead of relaxing music, Louise will sometimes use ear funnels and rubber earplugs to help block out the sound. "I now have some rubber earplugs on a string, which I got off Amazon for quite cheap," she explained. "I use these to sleep with every night, as well as having absolute silence. The only downside is that they do hurt quite a bit and if you're lucky enough like me, you'll get one stuck. I had to pull it out with a pair of tweezers. I also still use my ear funnels every day, as I can't go without them."
She says her condition make her 'constantly on edge' and it is difficult to maintain relationships and friendships. "Everything I hear is amplified, from loud slamming doors, to even noises that are meant to be quiet," Louise explained. "I am constantly on edge and I have drifted away from my parents, as well as other family members - but after helping them understand my situation, we are now growing closer again."
She added: "I feel that people think I am making it up, but I'm not. Try having someone eat next to your ear - with their mouth open - and imagine every single sound you hear being amplified. I know this is my condition, and I have to deal with it, but a bit of respect is the only thing I ask for."
Are you dreading Christmas dinner? Get in touch. Email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.