Forget Lapland – for a cracker of a Christmas treat, a Santa Sleepover at Alton Towers is just the ticket.
And the best thing about not having to trek all the way to the North Pole is it won’t hit you as hard in the wallet.
Be sure to fuel up on mince pies, though, because this frenzy of festive fun for all the family is full-on to say the least.
The Santa Sleepover package includes theme park entry, a visit to Santa's Grotto, panto, evening meal, entertainment and overnight stay at one of Alton Towers' themed hotels – and that's just day one.
On check-out day, there's breakfast, waterpark entry and nine holes of Extraordinary Golf to be had. With prices from £85 per person, it represents good value for money.
Family's Xmas Day 'ruined' as they leave pub unfed after hour wait for tableWe stayed at Alton Towers Hotel, where the Christmas cheer hit us like a runaway mine train the second we walked through the door. Songs, tree decorations – it ticks every festive box.
Our Moon Voyage room was an attraction in its own right. The action-packed scenes of space exploration on the wallpaper and carpets left our children, Rafferty six, and Clementine, four, mesmerised. If getting them off the bunk beds was difficult, tearing them away from the room's very own Xbox was all but impossible.
Eventually, the lure of our first Christmas dinner of the season in the Secret Garden restaurant did the trick. A carvery with turkey, ham and all the trimmings, as well as kids' options, hit the spot.
After that, there was just enough time for the children to do the treasure hunt, using clues to find letters hidden on a huge hot air balloon in the bar, an enormous chair or the fountain outside.
Then it was time for the all-new Robin Hood pantomime, featuring – as every good panto should – a decent number of boundary-pushing innuendo gags for grown-ups. The kids loved it too, lapping up the toilet humour, seizing every chance to shout "it's behind you!" and singing along to renditions of hits including Billie Eilish's Bad Guy.
One quick tip – say no to a hot chocolate before bed and save it for the morning or you could, like us, find yourself in a battle to get your sugar-hit little ones to sleep.
With a big day ahead of us, we filled our festive boots at breakfast, got wrapped up to the hilt and headed into the theme park.
In the UK's only CBeebies Land, the kids forgot all about the biting cold Staffordshire air they'd been moaning about the second they spotted their favourite TV characters. Rides such as Andy's Adventures Dinosaur Dig, Peter Rabbit Hippity Hop (which is surprisingly thrilling), Justin's Pie-O-Matic Factory and Postman Pat Parcel Post kept them entertained all morning.
And, new this year, Hey Duggee and the Christmas Singlong Badge Show was great fun too. Our morning of Christmas magic was capped off with a visit to Santa's Grotto, where the kids chatted to the elves before meeting the man himself, who gave them a present each.
Struggling to feel our fingers and toes, we were all eager to get the chill out of our bones – and what better way than to take a trip to the Caribbean... well, kind of. After a quick lunch, we headed to the Carib Creek waterpark attached to the Splash Landings Hotel, where we enjoyed two hours of wet and wild mayhem. It's fair to say we all loved the Master Blaster and Rush 'N' Rampage slides.
Husband and wife enjoy Xmas dinner days before she's charged with his murderIf you're looking to treat your children to something special this Christmas, you could do much worse than one of Alton Towers' festive packages.
One final tip – when you think you've put on enough layers, stick another on just to be sure, because if you want to enjoy the Extraordinary Golf, it helps if you can feel your hands.
Here's the range of options this Christmas at Alton Towers, with key dates and costs...
Prices start at £85 per person based on two adults and two children staying in a standard room at Splash Landings Hotel. Guests are required to reserve dinner and breakfast times, as well as waterpark and Santa's Grotto timeslots before arriving. Available from November 24 to December 23. For more information, go to the Alton Towers website.
Prices start at £18 per person. For more information, go to the Alton Towers website.
Prices start at £77.50 per person based on two adults and two children staying in a standard room at Splash Landings Hotel. Available from December 27 to January 7. For more information, go to the Alton Towers website.