27 April 2024 , 15:31
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Former Liverpool defender Stephen Warnock has discussed how he contemplated suicide after falling out of love with football.
Warnock made 67 appearances for the Reds after coming through the club's academy set-up, helping Liverpool win the UEFA Super Cup in 2005. However, he was sold to Blackburn Rovers for a fee of £1.5million two years later, before ending up at Aston Villa in 2009.
After leaving Villa Park, Warnock had stints at various clubs at different levels in the football pyramid, including spells with Bolton Wanderers, Leeds United, Derby County, Wigan Athletic, Burton Albion and Bradford City. The two-time England international has since shed light on how he lost "the buzz" for the game during this period.
Warnock explained that during both the back end of his playing career and soon after retiring, he suffered depression and suicidal thoughts. "I felt like I was getting frustrated with football," he told .
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"I'd played in the Premier League, then you slowly start to drop down. It becomes difficult, and that may sound a bit elitist or snobby but I just lost the buzz for it. I felt I wasn't playing the way I wanted to, I wasn't dieting the way I should.
"I probably wasn't as focused as I was, because I couldn't get to the top again. I felt down, it depressed me. I looked back on my career and thought I was a failure. I thought I'd had a terrible career. Going to Liverpool, then going to Blackburn, to Aston Villa, then to Leeds, and I just continued to go down. I always remember thinking I'd let myself down there.
"Now I look back at it and think wow, I was massively depressed for years. I retired at 35. I probably retired mentally at 31."
Warnock is now in a much better place and credits an old friend, who was training to be a counsellor, for 'saving' his life after a chance encounter at Liverpool Lime Street station. He added: "It must've been about eight or nine months later I rang him, and he said he'd been waiting for that phone call for ages. He told me I looked a mess on TV, and sounded it - and he said he'd make me feel better within two weeks. I dug deep, there were a lot of tears, there was a lot of honesty.
Stephen Warnock made more than 60 appearances for Liverpool"I remember coming off that call, and thinking I felt so different within one session. I messaged him after it and asked when we could have the next one. It was like a fix, I needed it. He'd give me homework to do, and the more homework I was doing and thinking about things, working on things, the better I felt. Constantly.
"I'd contemplated taking my own life at one stage. I was in so much of a rut, I just thought I was done until I phoned him. I tell him all the time he saved my life.”
Warnock went on to add that he wishes he could have called time on his playing career sooner than he did, but was unable to do so due to financial strain from an "ill-advised" investment. He explained: "I didn't sleep properly for six years off the back of that [financial advice],” he said. “I was going back into training every morning on maybe three hours' sleep.
"Head touches the pillow, and I'm constantly thinking about how I get out of this. I look back and think money's not everything. I wish I had just gone, 'I've had a great run, I've lost the love for it, I'm going to find something else that makes me happy'."
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org , visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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