29 April 2024 , 06:59
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A new mum "didn't recognise her baby" and left fearing she would die after giving birth.
Ailania Fraser, 35, who gave birth to her first child in 2019, described her birth experience as being 'totally normal' at first. But within days of leaving hospital, she started experiencing "terrifying" symptoms. She was later told she was suffering with postpartum psychosis and ended up in hospital for seven weeks.
The mum-of-two, from Muirhouse, Edinburgh, said she "didn't recognise her own baby" several times during the ordeal. Her other symptoms included sleeplessness, racing thoughts, compulsive behaviours, and audio hallucinations.
She described herself as living in a 'constant state of panic and paranoia'. At the time, she didn't fully understand what was happening to her, and now wants to help spread awareness around the condition by organising a fundraiser.
Speaking to Edinburgh Live, she said: "I didn't fully understand what was happening to me until a few weeks after giving birth but my symptoms started really quickly, within days even. I started to experience sleeplessness, OCD and racing thoughts early on.
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"From there, it grew, and I started hearing things that weren't happening, I thought everyone's conversations were directed at me. I thought if I didn't do certain things, bad things would happen, so I was constantly paranoid and there was a sense of panic. I was terrified.
"I didn't know what was happening to me, but I wanted to die. My heart was racing all the time because I felt like I was living in fear and I couldn't turn the thoughts off that were in my head. At one point, I couldn't even recognise my own baby.
- To learn more about postpartum psychosis or to gain access to peer support, visit app-network.org