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Woman so addicted to dating apps she forgot mum's birthday and nearly got fired

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Ene Unazi, 30, says she was so obsessed with dating apps she missed out on family milestones (Image: Ene Unazi/SWNS)
Ene Unazi, 30, says she was so obsessed with dating apps she missed out on family milestones (Image: Ene Unazi/SWNS)

A woman became so addicted to dating apps she forgot her mum's birthday - because she was busy swiping.

Ene Unazi, 30, downloaded the apps after attending the wedding of two friends who met on Tinder. She wanted to find a "love story" like theirs - but instead fell into a cycle of bad dates. Her addiction impacted her job and relationships - and she nearly got sacked for spending all her time on her phone.

Ene, a tech writer from Abuja, Nigeria, has since deleted the apps - and is looking for the right person in real life. She said: "The dating apps were draining - I felt like I was digging for treasure that didn't exist. I wanted a love story like my colleague's. But I kept meeting men who didn't live up to even 50 per cent of my expectations. I'd tell myself one more message, one more date, and I wanted to keep going until I got what I wanted. Without it, I didn't think I could survive."

Ene first "spiralled" into addiction in April 2021 - while at the wedding of a colleague and her husband. She felt shocked when the best man said the couple first met on Tinder. Having recently ended an eight-year relationship with a man she met in real life, Ene hadn't considered using the apps to find someone new.

She immediately downloaded an app there and then - and told herself she just wanted to try it for 24 hours. "I found myself swiping left, swiping right," she said. "Within one day, it became the last thing I did before bed and the first thing I thought about when I woke up.

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Within weeks, dating apps consumed Ene's entire life - leading her to forget the birthdays of her mum and nephew. Her boss pulled her into the office twice - because she'd use the apps instead of doing her work. She said: "I was gradually becoming the opposite of myself - yes, I'd engage with people but I'd be on my phone the whole time. I forgot my niece's school open day. She expected me to be there, and I didn't show up."

Woman so addicted to dating apps she forgot mum's birthday and nearly got firedEne downloaded the apps after attending the wedding of two friends who met on Tinder (Ene Unazi/SWNS)

"Seeing her crying because of me was heartbreaking - it'll stay with me forever. I shut out the real world and I entered into the virtual world - until I didn't feel comfortable making face-to-face conversation anymore." Despite not clicking with anyone on the apps, Ene was determined to find her fairytale relationship.

She only went on six dates across six months - as the majority of matches would FaceTime her first. Often feeling let down by a man's looks or personality - she developed an "onto the next one" routine which worsened her addiction. She said: "Everything appears more attractive on the apps - you think you know people after having little chats online.

"But people were never what I expected them to be - it was a disaster. The company was addictive, but I didn't find anyone I wanted to be in a relationship with." Ene says she was even stood up on one of her dates - after waiting 30 minutes for a man at a restaurant, she left and blocked him.

But the turning point came when she realised how disconnected she'd become from friends and family. Wanting to reconcile, she decided to "just go for it" and delete the apps without overthinking it. "I decided to delete them once-and-for-all," she added. "But in reality it took over a week to build up the courage. Once I did, the temptation to re-download was overwhelming."

"I felt like I was missing something - like I couldn't survive the day without them. It's typical addict behaviour." Ene began to build relationships with her family members again - and credits this with helping her stay off the apps for good. "I realised I was missing so much," she said. "They never held a grudge - they welcomed me back like the prodigal daughter."

She has now been in a relationship for two years - with a man she met at a party. "Life is better, easier," she added. "I'm seeing someone now - a physical someone. I couldn't ask for anything better. I'm really, really happy."

Rom Preston-Ellis

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