28 March 2024 , 08:00
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Paul O’Grady’s devoted husband says he can’t face being in the UK on the first anniversary of the TV star’s death.
Today marks 12 months since Paul suffered a sudden cardiac arrhythmia, aged 67. And in a wide-ranging Mirror interview with Tom Bryant - which you can read here - Andre Portasio says the event is still so vivid in his mind he couldn’t bear to spend the day in their Kent house - so he's made a firm decision about how he'll mark the anniversary.
“I wanted to be as far away from it as possible in New Zealand,” he said a few days before the planned trip. “I don’t want to be anywhere near my kitchen where I found him, and be reminded of what happened.”
Touchingly, he’s bringing Paul’s passport along with him.
“It will feel like he’s coming with me anyway, which is what he would have loved as he couldn’t do long-haul flights as he got older. But he would have loved New Zealand, and on the day in question, I will remember him quietly in my own way.”
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Andre was speaking in his first ever interview about their life together.
“I really thought that when we got married it would be forever. I just didn’t realise that forever would be so short-lived,” he says.
Andre Portasio has decided to mark the anniversary away from the home he shared with Paul (Andre Portasio)Andre used the interview to celebrate his husband’s incredible legacy and pay heartfelt thanks for the outpouring of love for Paul in the wake of his death.
But he also talks about how traumatic Paul’s death was.
He says Paul’s birthday in June was a terrible time, and thought he was strong enough for Christmas and had invited all of Paul’s family, only to cancel and spend the day alone.
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“I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. I just sat with my feelings,” he says. But one of the things which got him through was the astonishing outpouring of love for his husband.
“I couldn’t leave the house for three weeks because people kept coming to leave flowers, cards, or even little miniature dogs.
“It just reinforced quite how popular and deeply loved he was.”
Andre said he takes solace too in his determination to celebrate Paul’s legacy... starting with the treasure-trove of items above his head.
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Andre Portasio and Paul O'Grady (Andre Portasio)“There is an amazing history of items in our loft that he kept over the years that no one ever got to see,” he explains.
Among them are his husband’s famous Lily Savage dresses and wigs, as well as countless pieces of memorabilia.
“I used to say to him that the Lily items were a slice of history but he was always very modest and called them a lot of tat,” proud Andre laughs.
“I think by the end he was very tired of having to put on all the make-up and all the practical aspects of becoming Lily although he never fully retired her and she kept making comebacks.”
While Paul was alive, Andre managed to persuade him to donate the odd item to the V&A, but there are endless other pieces he is now setting aside.
“They don’t belong to me, they belong to the nation,” he says. “I feel the audience at large would absolutely love to see them again, and it’s weighing on me very heavily how I take his legacy forward.”