29 March 2024 , 18:30
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Famed horticulturist Monty Don has always felt a "bit guilty" about the complicated beginning of his love story.
His wife Sarah Erksine was married when they first locked eyes at Cambridge University and the Gardener's World star says it was never his intention to "pinch someone else's wife". Monty, 68, and Sarah went on to tie the knot themselves in 1983 and are now with grown-up children Adam, Freya, and Tom and multiple grandchildren.
He proposed on a remote island in the Scottish Hebrides, saying he booked the registry office as soon as they returned home to London. "We got married in Finsbury Registry Office and then had this lunch in L'Escargot and that was it, we never had a honeymoon".
In an interview on the podcast White Wine Question Time, Monty spoke candidly about the difficult start to their relationship. "I don't think it was love at first sight," he said. "I think it was intense attraction at first sight. Her husband was someone that I rode with and knew very well, and that was the case for about six months where I'd meet them socially.
The couple have been married for 44 years with three grown-up children (Maggie Hardie/REX/Shutterstock)"I remember thinking in a sort of quite banal way: 'How come that she met him before she met me? Why's the person that you feel strongly attracted to with somebody else? Marriage or not'. It never crossed my mind that it could be anything else. It wasn't like I was trying to pinch someone else's wife - there was no question of that."
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Sarah had wed for the first time when she was 19 and when her wealthy botanist husband headed off on a four-month field trip, her and Monty grew closer "in a completely platonic innocent way". As deeper feelings developed, she was left with a dilemma.
"You know that thing when you're very attracted to somebody you don't go too close to them, or you don't dare show too much interest or whatever," said Monty. "It turned out that we both felt the same way. But she was married to someone else and so it was very difficult."
Monty and Sarah grew close when her first husband went on a field trip (CHANNEL FOUR)Sarah made the decision to leave her husband, leading to a "difficult, unhappy tormented set-up". "She decided that she absolutely didn't want to sort of have an affair," said Monty.
"She chose me and it was for about six months an extremely difficult, unhappy tormented setup because he obviously was not very happy with that arrangement. He completely reasonably felt betrayed and very, very, very angry."
And while Monty feels a "bit guilty" about stealing someone else's wife, he has no regrets. "The point is I've always felt a bit guilty about it but at the same time there is a kind of ruthlessness," he said. "All is fair in love and war. You can't pussyfoot about. If you decide to be with someone and it means breaking up their marriage, you can't then say: 'Oh I feel really bad about this'."
Watch Gardener's World tonight at 8pm on BBC2