DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband left me high and dry for his golfing partner.
We’re both in our fifties, and his new girlfriend is 30.
We’d never had any issues until one day I realised he was going off to play golf much more frequently than he used to.
He and his work friends would go twice a week after the office, but then it got to the point where he was playing so often that I was lucky if I got to see him after work at all.
I was caught completely off- guard one day when I came home to find all his belongings were gone and a note on the kitchen table explaining he’d fallen in love with a woman he’d met at the driving range.
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It turns out she worked there while my partner and his buddies had been going to the course.
She later began joining them for their games, and at some point my husband started an affair with her, despite the fact that she was also in a relationship.
Now I’m facing a new reality without the man I love.
I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and we had a great life together.
I feel sure this other woman is simply after his money.
He drives a new Range Rover and is always dressed well.
And as for him, it’s clear he’s enjoying his younger bit of rough.
I keep picturing him realising that he’s made a big mistake and coming back to me, but after nine months there is little sign of that happening.
My life has been torn apart by this woman, and I don’t know how I’m going to recover and start my life over again.
DEIDRE SAYS: You will be going through a whole range of emotions after this sudden break-up.
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It’s natural to ruminate and hope that he will return and be regretful.
But as you say, nine months have passed and there is very little sign of your ex coming back.
We can’t force someone to regain feelings that have disappeared.
As hard as it will be to begin with, it seems you would be far better off putting your energies into moving forward with your life.
There is a time to cry and rail against how badly you have been treated, but there is also a time to start putting things back together.
Confide in friends and family about how you are feeling and, when you are feeling stronger, take the opportunity to get out again.
When you are ready join new clubs and socialise once more, making new friends will help you enjoy all that life has to offer.
My support pack, Moving On, will help you.
