A British woman has expressed her concerns over her husband's desire to move their family to New Zealand in the near future.
Taking to Mumsnet, she explained her spouse has had a job offer on the other side of the world, and he's becoming "increasingly concerned" about the threat of war in the UK. She added that the pair have a son who is due to start school in September and is currently "getting settled into the idea and going to taster sessions".
"I'm not currently working," the woman began, explaining their circumstances. "I was self-employed previously. I’ve had a look online and it seems like DH [dear husband] would get the visa for the job offer and we could apply for an NZ Family Visa and try to get residency there once there."
She continued: "But I’m unclear about whether I’d need to work in order to hold that visa - I’m not against working at all and we agreed I’d pick up my self employed business again when DS [dear son] goes to school but I don’t think that would be an option under the working requirements there."
The woman said her husband's desire to move to New Zealand was in part down to his fear of war in the UK (Getty Images/iStockphoto)The woman went on to explain that her hubby is "forging ahead" with plans owing to his "anxiety" over the situation the world finds itself in, prompting her t have serious reservations about the idea. "We've never even been to NZ," she explained. "We don’t know anyone out there, I don’t know anything about it or the schooling system etc. It’s so far away as well we wouldn’t be able to see friends and family regularly."
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With the further worry about how their son would "adapt", she asked the forum: "Am I being unreasonable to dig my feet in about this and say no?"
The majority of Mumsnet users soon told her she wasn't being unreasonable at all - slamming her husband's reasoning. "That's a crackpot reason to move to the other side of the world with zero connections to a place you've never been," one woman said. "I wouldn't be entertaining the idea and I'd be getting him therapy for his distorted fears. Don't get railroaded into this simply because he's currently the breadwinner. You could end up seriously screwed and utterly stuck."
A second agreed: "This is not a good reason to uproot your family and go somewhere so far from anywhere else, where you have no connection or contacts. He needs to deal with his anxiety before anything else."
And a third added: "From having done this with our family, albeit the other way, there is no sodding way I'd ever relocate anywhere, let alone as far around the world as you can get, without having been there, and got a very good feel for the country and the culture. If it isn't something both of you are committed to making work, do not do it. And don't be bullied into it, because of a touch of warmongering going on, neither."
Mumsnet users warned the original poster about the perils of her husband's plan (Getty Images/iStockphoto)Others, meanwhile informed the woman that should the pair ever go their separate ways in New Zealand, the ensuing custody issues would likely prove troublesome. "My main worry would be that if you ever split up and you want to go home to the arak you wouldn’t be able to take your child/children," one person explained.
A second concurred: "If your marriage breaks up you can never leave with your child. Like never. There was a poster on here a while ago who fell in that trap, badly. I never knew that about NZ and it stuck in my mind."
Whilst a third warned: "Once you go over there you are stuck there, as if he doesn't want to return to the UK he can block your children returning without him."
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