It isn't always easy to bite our tongues when it comes to the actions and opinions of our in-laws, but one was has drawn the line after her husband's mother "disregarded wishes for grandchild" - leaving the family in turmoil.
Becoming a new parent is one of the most exciting yet hardest times mums, dads, and guardians can go through. While every book, story, and film may give you the impression that parenthood is a state of pure bliss, many new parents will disagree. It's also common that when a younger family member welcomes a baby, older relatives who have already had children love to offer their wise words - even if the advice is unwanted.
One 28-year-old new mum, who wishes to remain unnamed, has shared that like many new mothers she has been "dealing with a lot of stress and exhaustion". So, as her mother-in-law has been "controlling", she claimed on Reddit recently, it has left her even more tense.
Writing on forum Am I the A*****e?, she explained that her husband's mother has been giving her baby girl formula milk - despite informing her that she is only breastfeeding her baby, or using expressed milk for when her relatives look after the baby. So "furious" by the 55-year-old grandmother's actions, the new mum has now stopped her mother-in-law from seeing the baby.
The mum explained: "My newborn hasn't been sleeping much, and I've been only breastfeeding. One day, I was completely exhausted and decided to take a nap, leaving my newborn with my mother-in-law for a few hours. When I woke up, I found my mother-in-law asleep. I checked the fridge and noticed all the breast milk I had pumped was still there."
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Confused, the daughter-in-law asked her about it and the grandmother reportedly said she "thought my breast milk was causing the baby's sleeplessness because of my stress, so she decided to give her formula instead," added the annoyed mum.
She added: "I was furious. I've been very clear about wanting to exclusively breastfeed, and she knows this. She disregarded my wishes and made a significant decision about my baby's feeding without talking to me. In my anger, I kicked her out of the house. My husband has been supportive about this and has accepted this."
The mum said her sister-in-law texted her saying she could be "depriving the baby of a relationship with her grandmother" and insists that the grandmother was "just trying to help".
She continued: "I don't want my feelings to prevent my daughter from having a relationship with her grandmother. And I feel like the a*****e for putting my husband in between this whole thing."
Over one thousand people reacted to the dilemma on Reddit, with the majority agreeing that the mum has a right to be annoyed. Relating to the new mum, one individual said: "Nope! That's a one and done situation. It's great your husband sees it that way too.
"Having a similar mother-in-law (who absolutely would have done this if she'd had the chance), what I'd do is, she's cut off until she shows some actual understanding and appreciation for how wrong she was, takes ownership and commits to staying in her lane in the future."
Another shared their experience, and said: "My mother-in-law did the same thing to me; I was exclusively breastfeeding and my husband convinced me to let his mom watch our baby when I returned to work and I found formula buckets in my house one day that we hadn't purchased and she had been dumping my milk down the sink and feeding my baby formula on the sly.
"I was devastated. I have never forgiven her for this betrayal and it impacted our relationship until she passed. I also have unresolved sadness about my experience and how a family member betrayed my wishes"
Another pointed out: "I think in general that it's not good for kids to be around people who consistently and baselessly disrespect their parents. Sends confusing messages at best, and at worst teaches them that disrespect is acceptable for the sake of family."
One other wrote: "Your baby, your choice. It's crazy the amount of entitlement some grandparents feel towards their grandchildren."
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