14 May 2024 , 22:04
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Dear Coleen
This may seem like a strange problem, so bear with me. I’m planning to go on holiday with my husband next month and I’m already dreading it because the last trip we went on was simply awful.
My hubby doesn’t like me getting my feet out on holiday. I don’t get it, but he’s really not happy at all if I wear sandals or flip flops, and even at the pool I mustn’t put my feet up to show the soles of my feet.
I’m 45 and I think my feet look pretty enough. I’m on holiday for God’s sake and I want to feel relaxed and walk around barefoot or go out at night wearing nice sandals. To be honest, having the freedom to wear less in a warm climate is one of my favourite things about being on holiday.
What can I say to my husband about this? I really don’t want him moaning about it on holiday ever again, as it will drive me crazy and we’ll have a bad time. Needless to say, he sticks to trainers and socks when we are abroad.
Coleen says
Don’t worry, I’ve had stranger problems. However, I actually think this whole foot phobia thing is real. My daughter, for example, can’t stand bare feet – even her own. If there are people walking around the house barefoot, she goes mad, telling them to get some socks or slippers on.
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Having said that, this is your husband’s issue to deal with, not yours. If he goes on holiday to a warm country he’s going to have to accept that very few people will be covering up their feet in shoes and boots.
If he wants to wear socks and trainers the whole time, that’s fine, but he can’t expect you (or everyone else) to do the same. And you have to be clear that you’re not going to change your behaviour and you’d rather not go at all if he’s going to make it a huge problem.
I think you should also ask him what he thinks is at the root of this phobia, and maybe encourage him to try something like hypnotherapy, which can be very effective. If it’s affecting your enjoyment of holidays and even your relationship, then it’s got to be worth a go.