THE EXORCISM
(15) 93mins
★★☆☆☆
THE devil is in the detail when it comes to the well-trodden path of films about extracting an evil force from someone.
And while the set-up to this horror is a very decent one indeed, the second half collapses into a head-spinning pile of spewed nonsense.
The film starts with a movie within a movie, and builds into the idea that films about exorcisms or poltergeists are cursed.
Before long, the lead actor — who plays a priest in charge of an exorcism — meets a grizzly end on set, and auditions are open for his replacement.
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In steps Anthony Miller (Russell Crowe), a gruff-voiced, rotund actor whose heyday was before he “spent the last two years inside a bottle”.
After much rehab, he is now ready to get back to the big screen and decides to audition for the cursed role.
His rebellious daughter Lee (Ryan Simpkins) has moved back in with him, and the pair — who have a damaged relationship due to Anthony’s addictions — go to the film set together.
So far, so interesting.
There’s a few jumpy moments, a decent build-up of the spooky set and a dark tinge to the film that makes you think there might be a seriously good horror movie arriving.
There’s even some decent bit-parts from Avatar’s leading man Sam Worthington and the excellent Adam Goldberg as a frustrated director.
But then, as though someone grabbed the script and ripped a chunk out of it in a fit of fury, it takes a giant leap into the weird and truly bizarre, with no feasible backstory.
Crowe goes from giving a decent performance of a damaged actor trying to find his way to looking embarrassed chanting Latin nonsense.
Then Niles from Frasier (David Hyde Pierce) appears as a stoical, real priest to save Anthony.
Meanwhile, his daughter seems more interested in snogging than helping her old man survive.
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I’m curious to know if it simply slipped Crowe’s mind that his most recent film flop was last year’s The Pope’s Exorcist — another budget horror about an exorcism.
Or maybe he thought it might be savvy to pick up two pay cheques for churning out very similar lines. Who knows?
Perhaps the devil made him do it.
SOMETHING IN THE WATER
15) 86mins
★★★☆☆
SHARKS certainly get a bad rap on the big screen.
They have played the bad guy in movies so often it’s time they got a decent agent.
This lost-at-sea tale has an intriguing set-up, starting with a brutal homophobic attack in London’s Camden that causes lesbian couple Meg (Hiftu Quasem) and Kayla (Natalie Mitson) to break up.
Fast forward a year and they have to meet again at their best friend’s dream wedding in a tropical paradise.
They are part of a gang of five besties, who take on stereotypical roles such as the wild spontaneous one, the sensible one and the obligatory bridezilla.
As a final hurrah to their single status, the gal pals decide to take a very dodgy boat to a remote island and drink the day away.
But soon, disaster strikes. Or, well, a shark.
A little bit Bridesmaids-meets-Open Water, there are some laugh-out-loud moments, as well as decent drama.
Clearly with a low budget, director Hayley Easton Street has done her best to bring suspense in the open sea.
But there is still not much to get your teeth into
THE BIKERIDERS
15) 116mins
★★★☆☆
SUMPTUOUSLY crafted by writer-director Jeff Nichols, this feels like a passion project that just happens to have a stellar cast.
Inspired by a photography book of the same name, it follows a journalist (Mike Faist) as he interviews those connected to The Vandals – a Sixties biker group who zoomed through Chicago burning rubber and pretty much everything else in their way.
The leader of the pack is Benny (Austin Butler) a man of very few words, but is so sexy in the ones he does say, everyone falls in love with him.
This might mean they marry him within days, like Kathy (Jodie Comer) or want to father him, like Johnny (Tom Hardy with a ropey American accent).
The story is mostly told through the interviews with a future Kathy who reveals the gang’s laziness, violent streaks and complete and utter devotion to Benny.
But when Johnny takes over Benny’s role conflict begins.
Butler is, as always, hypnotic and Comer puts in a cracking performance.
But with no sex scenes and little understanding given as to why these rebels desire this life, it never quite revs up enough.