22 June 2023 , 14:17
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The contraceptive pill changed many women's lives for the better as it gave women the sexual freedom they didn't have had prior to its inception - and while it's not for everyone, it certainly works for many.
But how would you feel if one of your friends admitted that they'd stopped taking the pill, without discussing it with their partner? It'd likely make you feel uncomfortable. Despite not being illegal in the UK, it is intentional deception and poses serious issues around consent.
One woman took to Mumsnet to share her friend's story, where the woman wanted an "accidental" pregnancy that's actually secretly planned by her.
The woman admitted she wanted to stop taking her pill (Stock Image) (Getty Images/Science Photo Library RF)The woman wrote: "Had a fall out with one of my closest friends who let it slip after a couple of drinks that she'd stopped taking the pill without informing her partner of six years.
"Her reasons are that they've discussed having kids and he definitely wants them but he just wants them to be in a perfect financial/home situation before trying.
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"She thinks he will be fine with an accidental pregnancy but won't discuss it upfront with him as she knows he will tell her 'not right now'.
"She's in her early 30s and he's 10 years older and my view is that he actually doesn't want kids at all which is why he's employed numerous delaying tactics over the last couple of years so this has disaster written all over it. However, apparently, I am wrong and loads of people do it and have happy outcomes."
The post sparked a huge debate, with some pointing out consent issues, particularly as non-consensual condom removal, or 'stealthing' as it's otherwise known, is classed as rape under UK law.
One person wrote: "Had she said that she and he have decided that as it's him that wants to wait, it's down to him to sort contraception, fine. And technically, if he doesn't want a baby (yet) he should be wearing condoms.
"But if they are in a long-term committed relationship and both mutually agree to one form of contraception, her removing that without saying so is practically criminal in my opinion. I'd tell her to tell him or you will."
Another fumed: "What a f*****g mess. If a bloke stealthed a woman to get her pregnant there would be uproar."
Someone raged: "Deceit around contraception is not accidental."
If you are affected by sexual violence and abuse and need support, contact Safeline on 01926 402 498.