“STOP, I want to get off!” I looked around to see who was screaming . . . then realised it was me.
Suspended at 100ft, upside down and staring at the concrete floor below, my main thoughts were: What if the safety harness fails?
What will then become of my wife and children?
I was on the Pendulum ride at Great Yarmouth’s Pleasure Beach.
And if you enjoy high-octane fun, and don’t mind feeling a little queasy, this is the place for you.
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Our adventure had begun more sedately a day earlier, when we rocked up to Haven’s Hopton Holiday Park.
A luxurious three-bedroom caravan, with a stunning sea view and direct beach access, awaited us.
And with two indoor swimming pools, water- slides, palm-tree fountains and activities including archery, a climbing wall, crazy golf, aqua-inflatables and make-a-bear, the kids were never going to be bored for a moment.
Crazy golf
The aqua-inflatables pro-vided a fun-filled half-hour that tested the children’s nerve and agility over the swimming pool’s giant obstacle course, while make-a-bear offered the younger members of our crew the chance to design and stuff their very own furry friend to take home.
Next stop was the Pier Hotel, featured in the 2019 rom-com movie
Yesterday, starring Himesh Patel.
The film’s crew comman-deered the hotel to shoot a memorable scene from the rooftop where Patel and his band played Beatles classic Help in front of 6,000 extras.
We enjoyed a delicious lunch there, with the hotel’s mighty Deluxe Burger and Pier-bockerglory deserving of special mentions.
Heading to the Pleasure Beach, I was praying my food would not return to haunt me.
But it was not just about white-knuckle rides — there were also more child-friendly attractions including a ghost train, monorail and classic dodgems.
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Elated and a little wobbly, we headed back to the holiday park where we were soothed by Jed Sheeran, an Ed Sheeran tribute act, in the Marina Lounge.
Boating at the Lake/Venetian Waterways — an ornate lake overlooked by the lively Island Cafe — was then the order of the next day.
I chose the rowing boat. Big mistake. It was swiftly swept into the far corner of the lake by a stiff breeze, as my wife Charly lapped me in her pedalo.
But fun on the water had whetted our appetites so we headed for the Joyland Family Diner in the heart of the Golden Mile.
The decor transports you back to 1950s America, as does its enormous menu.
Refuelled, we headed to the Time And Tide Museum, a gem that traces Great Yarmouth from its ice-age origins to the present day.
It is also home to the UK’s best-preserved Victorian herring curing works.
We explored the Yarmouth Rows — historic lanes running through the town — and the original smokehouses, still smelling of fish.
And no Great Yarmouth break would be complete without a visit to the Britannia Pier, with its live theatre shows, amusement arcades, fairground and giant slide.
Gutted to leave our slice of Haven on the Norfolk coast, we lifted spirits with a visit to Jump Warehouse.
This trampoline park is perfect for hyperactive children who need to expend energy.
Adults are also allowed to embarrass themselves by bouncing off walls, into the airbag, and doing their best LeBron James slam-dunk impression.
Then we boarded the Edwardian launch Gentleman Jim at Rollesby for a half-hour jaunt along the Broad, where the captain regaled us with facts about the flora and fauna.
With our break almost over, we had one last port of call — Pirates Cove Adventure Golf, 18 holes of swashbuckling fun.
I never did make a hole in one at the crazy golf — but it capped off a holiday my family and I will never forget.
