I LOVE my stunning engagement ring, it has a large aquamarine stone set in a band of white gold that sparkles for all to see.
There is only one snag, I am not really engaged.
For the last eight months, I have been wearing a divorced friend's engagement ring and pretending that I am getting hitched to a photographer called Max.
No, I have not lost my mind and yes, it’s a bit extreme but I am one of those modern glitches, an aging spinster, at 61, who has never managed to tick the boxes of marriage and kids.
The moment that made me realize it was time to turn the dating tables was at a friend’s second-time round wedding last June.
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"You’ve just never picked a stayer,” one friend said as she grabbed the hand of her husband in a cruel show of smug-married one-upmanship.
"You’d better hurry up, Kate, you're not getting any younger,” accompanied by raised eyebrows and group titters.
Well, I’m sick of being single-shamed, and men thinking there is something wrong with me.
Just because I haven’t said “I do" doesn’t mean I’m a loser in love.
Then a friend told me that when she was engaged several years ago, men found her irresistible.
I had nothing to lose so after a bit of dithering, I decided to give it a try.
And ever since I have been flashing my ring, my life has been transformed.
Take a couple of months ago, I was chatting to a man at a friend’s party.
Pre-fakedom, I was the woman checking her face in the mirror for mascara smudges and babbling on in an effort to please him.
Now I appeared cool and calm and for the first time, I felt like I was in the driver's seat.
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The idea that I already had a man, albeit fake, meant that my air of desperation had been replaced by coquettish confidence.
It may sound weird, but this bit of bling had a profound effect on my mood.
I stopped thinking about my dating woes, I walked taller, my shoulders pulled back, a definite spring in my step.
People even commented on my “glow” and men seemed more eager to talk to me.
I became a smilier, chattier version of myself.
It is what psychiatrists call a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"The more confident you act, the more people will start to believe in you and respond positively thereby making you genuinely feel more confident and happy,” said Cary Cooper psychologist and author.
Then at a gallery opening a few weeks ago, a handsome older man invited me out to dinner.
He said he had been watching me chat with a group of younger men, and thought I looked fun and interesting.
Well, that’s a turnaround I thought, and yes, I know it's dishonest but I am okay with that.
I have been online dating for over a decade and let me tell you, men have the upper hand.
Whilst I spent my days swiping left, the only men who seemed interested in me were the balding over-70s.
It did not take long for the penny to drop.
It’s really unfair, so why shouldn’t women like me get a bit creative?
Dating is a game and having a pretend fiancé is just another branch of playing hard to get.
And science backs this up, a 2020 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, revealed that "playing hard to get" really works.
Researchers from the University of Rochester examined the effects of the controversial mating strategy, that is likely to instil a degree of uncertainty.
Making the chase harder, they found, increases a potential mate's desirability.
Cooper explained: “People want what they can’t have, it’s human nature.
"If something is hard to obtain, then it presents a challenge, and the result becomes more desirable, effectively making you a valuable prize," he said.
The fear of course is that it will all backfire, after all, where is he?
What happens when you meet someone you really like?
So here is my advice to would-be fakers.
Method act. Identify with the newly engaged you and smile.
Imagine your beloved, tall, dark hair, brooding eyes, that kind of thing.
Decide what kind of personality he has, and give him a few quirks, no one is perfect.
A back story, where he grew up, ideally a job with travel in it.
“Sorry, he’s in Tokyo at the moment," I would say breezily when friends asked to meet him.
Base your fake man on someone famous or someone you know.
That way, you have a ready-made picture in your mind and are less likely to slip up.
So now I have done the big reveal, has it worked?
Yes, I have started dating the wonderful man from the gallery.
And yes, he knows about faking the engagement, and after a lengthy explanation, he managed to laugh about it.
At this rate, I may get to wear a ring for real one day.
Now that’s what I call a self-fulfilling prophecy.
