DEAR DEIDRE: I WOULDN’T mind if my partner watched porn occasionally – but the problem is he watches it at every opportunity.
I’m 31 and my partner’s 33. We’ve been together for nine years and have three boys, aged seven, five and three.
We are very much in love and generally our relationship is solid.
However, my partner has a serious addiction to porn.
He doesn’t even watch it just to pleasure himself, but simply because he can.
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I have tried to talk about it and asked him to limit the amount of time he watches it. But so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. He says he can stop it whenever he likes but I don’t believe him.
We are hardly alone with a busy family and we both work, but I thought we had a decent sex life.
My parents weren’t particularly loving or supportive so my confidence has always been low.
Now his behaviour is really affecting my self-esteem in the bedroom and the way I feel about myself.
After having three children, my body bears no comparison to the ones my partner looks at.
I would love to have no inhibitions when it comes to sex but how can I relax when I know he’s comparing me to adult-film actresses?
DEIDRE SAYS: Lots of people watch porn online but increasing numbers are becoming dependent on it.
It’s not a reflection of how attractive you are or whether you are good enough.
It’s time for an honest discussion.
Tell him you’re concerned his porn habit is affecting your sex life and you have zero confidence.
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My support pack, Internet Pornography Worry, explains more. Your parents were emotionally absent for you, which can destroy any good feelings about yourself.
My support pack Raising Self-esteem can help.
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