Dele Alli has bravely opened up on his mental health and shed light on the moment he felt his career started to spiral during an emotional discussion with Gary Neville.
The Everton star explained how he checked himself into a 'modern-day rehab facility' that deals with 'mental health, addiction and trauma' following his failed stint at Turkey with Besiktas. Dele admitted he felt that at the time he was caught in a bad cycle and actively participating in things that were doing him more harm than good off the pitch.
The England international explained to Neville that after being told he required surgery for an injury, he could feel his mental health begin to deteriorate as it had in the past. Still on the books at Everton, Dele praised the Toffees for their understanding at such a difficult time and for giving him the time he needs to attend the six-week rehabilitation course.
Talking freely, Dele admitted that checking himself into rehab "was the biggest decision of my life". The 27-year-old was once viewed as the most exciting young talent in Premier League football and after a stellar World Cup campaign with England in 2018, Dele seemed to have the world at his feet.
Yet, during his discussion with Manchester United legend Neville on the Overlap, he is able to highlight the moment things started to go south.
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"Probably the saddest moment for me was when [Jose] Mourinho was manager, I think I was 24, and I remember there was once a session, one morning where I woke up and had to go training - this was when he stopped playing me," he said.
Dele Alli opened up to Gary Neville about his off-field struggles in an emotionally charged interviewMirror Football is now on Threads! You can follow us here.
"I was in a bad place and I remember just looking in the mirror thinking, it sounds dramatic but I was literally staring in the mirror asking 'can I retire now?', at 24, doing the thing I love, for me to even have that thought was heartbreaking, that hurt me."
Of course, Dele did not retire and soldiered on, leaving Spurs in January 2022 to join Everton. But the change of scenery did not inspire a significant change of fortune on or indeed off the pitch.
The MK Dons academy graduate discussed how while he tried to repress the negative emotions he was feeling, human nature means they were always going to manifest one way or another.
"I turned to all the wrong things, I don't blame Mourinho, I don't blame anyone, my reaction wasn't right but it wasn't something I had control over. It was the reality of my life when I was younger, traumas I had and it all just came out and I'm grateful that it happened at that time," he said.
"It could have happened at a time when I couldn't find a purpose for myself, couldn't find the why, why I am doing this."
* If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email _jo@samaritans.org_ or visit their site to find your local branch
* The NSPCC's confidential 24-hour helpline is 0808 800 5000; Childline is 0800 1111. Police urge victims of sexual abuse, no matter how long ago it took place, to call 101.
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