09 October 2023 , 13:28
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A woman has reprimanded her mother-in-law for making cruel comments about her grandson choosing to wear dresses. The mother explained that she doesn't get on with her parents-in-law as five years ago there was a 'massive row' and things have never recovered.
The woman, her husband, and their two kids, who are four and six, live three hours away from the kids' grandparents. They only see each other once a year as the grandparents don't visit, instead opting for Skype calls. She said her mother-in-law has very extreme views and she's had to tell her multiple times to keep her opinions to herself when they may upset others. Things have come to a head now that she has made inappropriate comments about her own grandson.
"My four-year-old son, since the summer has been very interested in 'beautiful twirly whirly dresses', unicorns, sparkles, glitter, hairclips etc (things that are stereotypical of little girls). Myself and my husband have not discouraged or encouraged this, we have simply given him a choice, just as we do his older brother and he has consistently chosen from the girls' section rather than the boys," the mum wrote on Mumsnet.
"No issues throughout the summer, he wore dresses with shorts underneath and all was well. My husband got very worried when we went into preschool that either he or his elder brother would be teased if he wore a dress so (as a compromise - to show I respect my husband's opinion even if I don't agree! Very happy for my son to wear a dress every day if he wants!) we tried to encourage him to save his beautiful dresses for home 'so they wouldn't get messy' but let him have free reign on what he wears otherwise (unicorn jeans and teeshirt for example!)
"During one of the weekly Skype calls today, mother-in-law went on and on and ON about my son who was wearing a dress and even started calling him the female version of his name." She went on to say that her husband repeatedly asked his mum to stop but she carried on. The woman eventually got involved and told her to 'Stop being unkind now or stop phoning' as she deemed she wasn't being fair. According to the post, the mother-in-law stormed off and left the father-in-law on the phone.
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She continued: "My little boy was nearly in tears saying to me 'Why are grandma and grandad being mean to me about my beautiful dress?' My elder one was comforting him saying 'Don't worry, just come and play with me if they're being mean. If you love it, you wear it. You look great!' Honestly, it nearly broke my heart to hear that!
"So, where do I go from here? I know she will expect me to apologise, but I am not going to! How dare she say things like 'She'll make him gay' and 'Oh why have you got a silly dress on for!'" People rushed to the comment section to share their support, with many agreeing that her mother-in-law was being inappropriate.
"You've done the right thing. If he wants to wear a dress then fair enough. Your mouther-in-law sounds horrible," one person said. "I think you sound great. He wears what he wants at home but understands that for school he has to wear certain clothes. Good preparation for uniform. I'd stop contact with parents-in-law it doesn't sound like your children benefit." said another. A third added: "Your in-laws are awful. Limit contact."
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