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'Watch out for holi-dazers', warns dating expert as singles target rom-com fans

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'Watch out for holi-dazers', warns dating expert as singles target rom-com fans
'Watch out for holi-dazers', warns dating expert as singles target rom-com fans

FESTIVE fans go Christmas crackers for schmaltzy Hallmark holiday movies.

But the romcoms are sparking a bizarre new seasonal dating trend.

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There are warning signs to look out for
Fans of movies like The Holiday need to beware
Fans of movies like The Holiday need to beware

Experts say those looking for long-lasting romance need to be wary of “holi-dazers”.

Rhian Kivits, sex and relationship expert for dating app Fruitz, said: “It’s a manipulative and toxic dating tactic where singletons pull out all the stops to give the impression they’re looking for a ‘forever’ partner, by copying clichéd Hollywood behaviours and actions.

“It’s a combination of the ‘love-­bombing’ and ‘future-faking’ trends but with a heady dose of Christmas nostalgia.”

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It can be easy to fall into the holi-dazing trap at this time of year when romantic movies set in snowy scenes dominate streaming services.

And it’s also a tricky time of year to be alone, when loved-up couples are sharing cosy evenings and buying each other thoughtful gifts.

Rhian said: “It’s a time of year when people typically seek out a romantic interest. But this year many have been using idyllic festive scenarios played out in our favourite romcoms as a way to win over a prospective partner.

“We all tend to romanticise, but this trend is particularly toxic as it capitalises upon festive and romantic cues that are incredibly familiar and can make you feel like your dreams have come true.”

Rhian warned against being conned — and revealed there are simple warning signs to look out for.

She said: “If someone is coming on too strong and giving over-the-top compliments and romantic gestures, it could be a sign that you are being holi-dazed.

“If their behaviour feels excessive and overly affectionate, it’s worth asking yourself whether it feels genuine or if it is moving too quickly.

“If they are making extreme promises about the future or telling you that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to them, they could in fact be displaying manipulative behaviour.”

Rhian said a reluctance to introduce you to friends or family can be another warning sign as it indicates they are not serious about securing you as a partner once the the season is over.

Meanwhile, only making plans when it’s convenient for them and exaggerated expressions of love could be signs they’re just looking for something fleeting.

I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do itI want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it

Rhian said: “It’s all about seeing whether their words and affections marry up with their actions.”

The dating guru reckons the best way to find out if you’re being holi-dazed by your date is to call them out on their behaviour.

She said: “It doesn’t have to be confrontational. Do it in a relaxed and humorous way that makes light of the situation.

“Ask them how they would feel about committing to an event or occasion in the future and see how they react.

“You’ll find it incredibly empowering as it puts you in the driving seat and sends a clear signal that you know what you want.

“If they’re right for you, they will reassure you, show commitment, and take stock and accountability, without making you feel uncomfortable.”

And if they’re not right for you — if they become defensive or struggle to commit to long-term plans — it’s time to tell them to jingle all the way away.

But it can be gutting when you meet someone and think there’s a genuine connection only to find out it’s all been a ruse — especially at this time of year.

Rhian said: “The big problem with holi-dazing is that when things fizzle out after the festive season and your love interest ghosts you or withdraws, you could find yourself feeling incredibly let down.

“Nobody wants to spend January nursing a broken heart.”

Lynn Kernan

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