I’M wondering if there has ever been a story I cared as little about as the Princess of Wales doing a bit of picture editing?
Partly this is because I couldn’t tell there was anything wrong with the picture in the first place.
The people who took to social media screaming that there was a gap, or something, by Charlotte’s cardigan have too much time on their hands.
It was predictable enough that the Meghan ’n’ Harry camp would wade in with their spite, mind.
Some, er, source said: “The same rules do not apply to both couples.
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“This isn’t a mistake that Meghan would ever make. She has a keen eye and freakish attention to detail.”
I would be most happy if she doctored all future photographs of her and Harry by just removing the two of them altogether.
And putting in their place two grinning cats.
Hamas' heroes
HAMAS groupies slashed a portrait of Lord Balfour hanging in Cambridge University’s Trinity College.
Balfour’s declaration in 1917 paved the way for the setting up of the Israeli state.
But Balfour also insisted that the civil and religious rights of the Palestinians should be safeguarded.
Which suggests to me that, as you might expect, the vandal who damaged the painting knew nothing of history.
Tune in, everyone, for Despot Housewives
GREAT news! Soon you’ll be able to watch the official North Korean state TV channel all day long.
Kim Jong Un’s deranged regime is making the content available to all of us capitalist running dogs in the West.
No more Bargain Hunt or Cash In The Attic.
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It will be massed choreographed dancing, bizarre cartoons and news programmes which may not always, er, tell the entire truth.
The interesting thing will be to see if it gets more viewers than Channel 4.
Close call, I suspect.
Ticeman coming for PM
HERE’S my warning to Rishi Sunak and the Tories.
Richard Tice’s Reform Party – formerly the Brexit Party – will cost them more seats at the next election than they are expecting.
Even if, as is likely, Reform end up with no seats at all.
The problem for the Conservatives is that previously the Brexit Party and Ukip took a lot of votes from Labour as well as the Tories.
Not now – it’s pretty much all people who previously voted Conservative.
This is ruinous for Sunak.
He’ll be losing votes to Labour and the Lib Dems from the Left and Reform from the Right.
Not looking good, is it?
Sun and games
APPARENTLY, there is to be a solar eclipse on April 8.
Scientists at Fort Worth in Texas will be studying the effect it has on animals in the city’s zoo.
Previous experiments have suggested that gibbons start to sing.
Also, giraffes run around a bit in a slightly weird way.
While tortoises engage in a spot of how’s yer father.
All of which is interesting, no?
I just hope there are a few scientists, not to mention police and National Guard, examining what those other residents of Fort Worth get up to during a solar eclipse.
You know, the Texans.
Putin's satanic curses
VLADIMIR PUTIN has been ranting about his nukes again.
And his willingness to use them.
Whenever he’s in a spot of bother he starts bragging about his nuclear arsenal.
This time he’s warned the West that if American troops are stationed in Ukraine, that could be the time to get the nukes out.
The truth, though, is that Putin knows damn well he stands no chance against Nato.
All he is doing is playing on the nervousness of some in the West who have no stomach for a fight.
Incidentally, Russia’s most dangerous nuke is called the Satan II.
I wonder if the blokes who look after these rockets ever look at the name and say to one another: “Hey, Dmitri, this rocket’s called Satan. Are we the bad guys?”
