PILGRIMAGE star Christine McGuinness has revealed how she came close to killing herself on many occasions in her adolescence.
The model, who's just appeared on the BBC1 show with other celebrities, made the confession on the Big Fish podcast, out tomorrow, by Spencer Matthews.
The Made in Chelsea star joined Christine on Pilgrimage: The Road Through North Wales, in which she discussed having autism, which caused her severe trauma because it wasn't diagnosed when she was younger.
She said: "My late teens was where it was really, really difficult. I had years of just thoughts, just passing thoughts, you know 'I just don't want to wake up any more'.
"I'd pray every night that I wouldn't wake up in the morning."
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Asked if she'd ever considered how she would end her life, she said: "I thought about it a lot, I thought about it an awful lot.
"There were times when I took every tablet. My mum had a cupboard with all the medicine in.
"And I didn't physically take them, but I would take them out of the cupboard and take them up to my bedroom and think 'Ok, I'm just going to do this tonight, I'm just going to get it over and done with'.
"And it was like something would always happen. Whether it would be my brother shouting at me to go and help him on his Xbox or my sister asking what outfit she should wear.
"It felt like someone would always interrupt me or disturb me.
"It was a really, really low time. It's not something that I'm completely ok with, that I even thought like that, because that would have been absolutely devastating for my mum."
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