DEAR DEIDRE: FOLLOWING my divorce, my wife made it difficult for me to have a relationship with my sons.
She constantly undermined me.
When I wrote to you, this had been going on for seven years.
I’m 42 and my ex-wife is 40. My older boy, who is 15, constantly bullied my 13-year-old son, often hitting and kicking him.
If I punished him, for example, by taking his tablet away, he would get his mum to come and pick him up. She never told him off or supported me.
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You suggested my son might still be angry about our divorce, and said I should try talking to him directly.
You sent me your Troubled Teenagers support pack and suggested I call Families need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0300 0300 363).
Thank you so much. I’ve had a breakthrough.
I took him out for a meal and he opened up. He is angry and also having some problems at school.
I offered to help him and told him he could call me any time.
We’re now getting on much better.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so pleased you have been able to start building a relationship with your son, and hope you can help him with his problems.
So often, spending real quality time with a child can make a big improvement.