WHEN it comes to being football's Mr Angry, Roy Keane has given his best audition through the years.
The Man Utd legend, 52, has entertained audiences as a football pundit and personality over the years.
However, there are quite a few things that wind the ex-Ireland star up.
Like school meals hero Marcus Rashford, for example, who was spotted cracking a smile while warming up before the Red Devils entertained Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in a game back in 2022.
Keane revealed on Sky Sports: "Every time I see Marcus getting warmed up, he’s always smiling.
Ferguson frightened Chelsea aged 14, before scoring first Prem goal v Arsenal
"I don’t like players smiling too much. You smile when you do score, when you do something.
"Every time I see him in the warm-up he’s laughing or smiling. You’re going to war.
"You’re fighting for your future, start smiling when you score a goal, or you do something that affects the game, or gets people off their seats.
"Laughing all the time in a warm-up… come on."
Then there's the "cocky" and "useless" masseurs who work for the football clubs that get Keano's goat.
He told The Overlap: "What used to annoy me was the lads who used to do the massages, they’d get a bit cocky.
"They settle into the club then they think they’re running the show, have got the music on and the team wins something, and all the masseurs would be on the pitch – just relax lads.
“They all get a bit cocky, every one of them. We’re having a night out, free bar, and then they’d come with all their mates – ‘you’re bringing your mates,’ relax!
"‘Are we getting medals?,’ no you’re not getting a medal, relax.
"Then they’d be wearing their headphones as if they were players, coming off the bus and you’re thinking, just relax, oh my god.
What happened to 'Next Messi from LaLiga ace Romero to ex-City whiz Roberts
"‘Anyone selling their car?’ – they’d try and buy the players cars on the cheap, are you’re like lads relax."
Keane added that masseurs would get friendly with the players.
He continued: "What happens to them, they become mates with them [players].
"They play golf with them and then they think they’re a coach, a manager, and best buddies with all the players and before you know it, they’re an agent, advising them."
Here's more of Keane's pet peeves - with some having us in stitches.
Players swapping shirts
It's tradition now to see players trading their jerseys for their rivals after and sometimes even before games.
But Keane isn't having it, although he did bend the rules once in his career - which he calls one of his biggest regrets.
"I've asked one player to swap a jersey, which I regret," Keane told Gary Neville's The Overlap podcast.
"We played Germany with Ireland, pre World Cup 94 in a friendly. It was after the game, and we beat them to be fair.
"He was walking off and I was only being polite. It was the sweeper, [Matthias] Sammer, and he said no. I went 'ya f****** prick' anyway.
"That was it. I just thought 'I shouldn't be asking anybody'. I was only being polite, it's not that I wanted his jersey."
Touching the Anfield sign
Few would call touching the Anfield sign at Liverpool "chilidish"... except Keano, of course.
When covering a game for ITV alongside Ian Wright, the Arsenal legend revealed he followed that tradition - but out of his team mate's sight.
But when Keane asked if he had also touched the sign, he stated: "Of course not. There'd be no point.
"It's okay, it's a tradition for the English [Liverpool] players but not for the opposition players. I'm not sure why you touched it Wrighty. I think it's silly, it's childish.
Prawn sandwiches
As a player, Keane was just as opinionated. Just ask the prawn sandwich brigade.
During an infamous rant, he slammed his own supporters at Old Trafford over the atmosphere in the ground.
"Away from home our fans are fantastic, I’d call them the hardcore fans," Keane said.
"But at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don’t realise what’s going on out on the pitch.
"I don’t think some of the people who come to Old Trafford can spell ‘football’, never mind understand it."
Talking in the tunnel
Infamously, Keane got into a tunnel spat with Patrick Vieira before an Arsenal v Man Utd game, so it's clear he doesn't abide by a friendly chat as the teams line up side-by-side.
What really annoyed him was minutes before United and Liverpool, two fierce rivals, went head-to-head the opposition players were in jovial spirits chatting to each other.
"I’m disgusted with the players. You’re going to war, they’re hugging and kissing," Keane began.
"Don’t even look at the opposition. You’re going into battle against them.
"The game hasn’t changed that much, the players have changed. You’re going to war against these players and they’re hugging each other. Chat to them after the game, or don’t even chat to them after the game."
American club owners
Today's Premier League sides, including Arsenal, Man Utd and Liverpool boast American owners.
However, Keane doesn't like them at all - insisting they want managers with tans and nice teeth, which could see you in favour.
“It seems to be coming into the game, more so in England with the amount of foreign owners. Particularly the Americans," he said.
"They seem to love a coach who’s got the whistle around his neck, a clipboard and a tan, and really white teeth. That gives you a chance.”
His wife
Now we're sure this was tongue-in-cheek because Roy has been happily married for over 20-years to longterm love, Theresa.
He had TV viewers creasing up when he reacted to Chelsea team mates Mason Mount, Ben Chilwell and Billy Gilmour catching up ahead of England and Scotland's Euros clash last year for 20 minutes.
"The only thing I would be critical of is why would you want to speak to an opposition player for 20 minutes?
"I don't care if he's your teammate or not. For over 20 minutes?
"I very rarely speak to anybody for over five minutes. After a game when you've been to war with somebody, why would you want to chat to somebody for that long?
"I think they could have used a bit more common sense. I rarely want to speak to anyone for five minutes."
Host Mark Pougatch then queried: "I hope your wife gets more than five minutes?"
To which Keane replied: "No, never."
Hilariously, Keane also cropped Theresa out of an Instagram post, wishing her "Happy birthday to my first wife x" in a hilarious share.
ABBA
As Sunderland boss, Keane was dismayed by the music playlist booming from the dressing room.
It was Swedish mega group ABBA who were in the firing line, as well as his stars this time.
"The last song before the players went on to the pitch was ‘Dancing Queen’ by Abba.
"What really worried me was that none of the players – not one – said: ‘Get that s*** off.’ They were going out to play a match, men versus men, testosterone levels were high.
"You’ve got to hit people at pace. F****** ‘Dancing Queen.’ It worried me. I didn’t have as many leaders as I thought."
Paul Pogba
France World Cup winner is everyone's cup of tea. And it bothered Keane that Pogba was chatting to his brother continuously during a United clash with Saint Etienne.
"The boy, Pogba, he’s a bit of a free spirit, a bit of a character. But I think it was a little bit over the top tonight – before the game and at half-time," Keane said.
"They’ve spoke more tonight than I have to any of my brothers in the last five years. All this stuff before and after the game. It’s a lot of nonsense – but that’s the modern player, I’m afraid."
The colour blue
He played in red, green, green and white hoops... but when it comes to blue, not a chance.
Simply puts, he hates the colour - and entertains that he might be being childish.
“I don’t like f*****’ blue. City were blue. Rangers were blue. My biggest rivals were blue. Is that childish? Keane once asked.
"I couldn’t feel it – the chemistry."
Budweiser ads and Robbie Savage
Roy Keane liked the look of Robbie Savage as a player, however he was put off signing him instantly when he tried to call him and was met with a voicemail of the Welshman mimicking the famous Budweiser adverts.
“It went to his voicemail: ‘Hi, it’s Robbie – whazzup!’ like the Budweiser ad," Keane said.
"I never called him back. I thought: ‘I can’t be f****** signing that.'"
So Savage stayed at Blackburn.
