CAMPBELL JOHNSTONE is the first openly gay All Black - and hopes his announcement can help take the pressure off others.
The New Zealand rugby star, 43, played three times for the iconic team in 2005 - including against the British & Irish Lions.
And now the former prop has come out publicly in a courageous TV interview.
Johnstone told TVNZ's Seven Sharpe show: "If I can be the first All Black that comes out as gay and take away the pressure and stigma surrounding the issue it can actually help other people.
"Then the public will know that there is one in amongst the All Blacks and it could be one of the final pieces in the puzzle sports-wise that gives everyone closure.
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"If I open up that door and magically make that closet disappear, then we're going to help a lot of people.
"I pushed that side of me down deeper and deeper. I went to some interesting places."
Johnstone was the 1,056th player to represent the senior men's All Blacks team when he made his debut against Fiji.
He enjoyed spells with Canterbury, Crusaders and Ospreys at club level.
The Kiwi forward added: "Within myself, I was never comfortable with the whole concept and my dream was to be an All Black.
"My view of an All Black was manly, strong, possibly with a wife and kids.
"It would come to the surface when I may have had a bad game and I would look at that side of me and blame that side for it.
"It slowly starts to affect you and it’s hard living a double life or living a lie.
"We had a phrase in rugby saying after a game if you could look yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself then you’ve done enough [...] and here I was looking in the mirror having not been honest with my team-mates."
Johnstone revealed his sexuality to friends and family previously but now felt the time was right to go public - after being inspired by former New Zealand cricketer Heath Davis who came out six months ago.
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He continued: "I did that a long time ago. It was pretty much like telling them I just ran out of milk, one of them was like, 'Yeah it’s about time.'
'RUGBY HAS YOUR BACK'
"Telling just close friends and rugby friends was enough for me at the time."
Johnstone received widespread support from the rugby world.
New Zealand rugby's chief executive Mark Robinson said: "Your strength and visibility will pave the way for others in our game.
"Rugby is a sport that is welcoming to everyone and a place where people should feel safe to be who they are.
"We want to be clear, no matter who you love, rugby has your back."
New Zealand Sports Minister and former deputy Prime Minister Grant Robertson, who is gay, said Johnstone's announcement was a "big moment" and thanked him for "blazing this trail."
And the All Blacks' official Twitter account added: "Much love and support for All Black #1056 Campbell Johnstone for having the courage to share his story and helping create a more inclusive game."
