A woman battling intense mood swings due to a rare condition which turns her into "Jekyll and Hyde" has lifted the lid on what it's like.
For many women in the week before their period, feeling down is par for the course - but for Jennie Walker it entails serious depression and even suicidal thoughts. The 29-year-old lives with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which she only found out about by chance.
Jennie, from Edinburgh, says her mental health the week before her period was so bad, she would fight with her family and even smashed a window. So bad were her moods during the luteal phase, she desperately found herself Googling, "can I be bipolar for two weeks of the month?"
But the last resort online search turned up answers about PMDD, and reading through the list of symptoms, Jennie was floored to find she recognised all of them. People suffering from the condition experience depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping, severe anger and even suicidal thoughts.
But despite blighting an estimated one in 20 people who menstruate, the condition is hard to diagnose. Jennie said she thought she was "crazy" until the pieces fell into place.
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"I used to get this white rage," she said, adding she would be "fizzing over little things". "It felt unmanageable. I had extreme mood swings, anger issues and paranoia."
In those tough two weeks, Jennie would smash up possessions out of anger and desperately drive around for hours to "escape my thoughts". "Then I'd feel humiliated and ashamed," she told the Daily Record.
"When it's bad, it can rob me of myself. It's Jennie and Hyde. If it lasts half a month that's a lot to lose. But I was called 'crazy' and 'drama queen'." Jennie had a tough adolescence after dropping out of school at 15 and being referred to a sleep clinic and social worker.
She said: "I was so up and down my parents thought I was on drugs. I would also sleep a lot during unstable periods, to the point where it was hard to get out of bed. It felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. It was so overbearing that I'd have suicidal thoughts. It was about the need to escape and not feel stuck in my mind and body. My GP gave me a diagnosis but the only treatment offered was the pill. It didn't work for me. There needs to be more understanding."
Since getting a diagnosis seven years ago, Jennie has taken anti-depressants and started doing pilates, which she finds greatly helps. She's now spoken out about life with PMDD this Mental Health Awareness Week, saying many are still suffering in silence.
Jennie said: "The understanding of a diagnosis made a big difference but I have to work hard to manage the symptoms. It can still cut me off from my own life. I have to stick to routines for sleep, diet and exercise. The stakes are high if that falls by the wayside. I can feel exhausted but movement really helps keep my moods in a better place. When the last thing I want to do is go for for a run, that's when I really need it and will benefit most."
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