A dad-of-three who lost both of his parents to cancer just three days apart has spoken about the devastating impact the ordeal has had on his life.
Mark Stewart, who works in corporate finance, lost his 72-year-old father Roy Stewart back in 2016. Roy had just entered his tenth year of battling myeloma – an incurable bone marrow cancer – before succumbing to the illness. Mark’s mum Erika, 73, then tragically lost her battle to multiple cancers, just three days after her husband Roy.
Erika had dedicated her life to being Roy’s full-time carer since he was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of 62. Despite the ex-soldier being told he only had two years to live, Roy was able to fight the disease for another ten years. But tragedy struck when Erika began to feel unwell while Roy was in hospital in 2016. After a series of tests, doctors discovered she had just days to live after cancer was found in her bowel and stomach.
A devsastated Mark manged to get both of his parents into a hospice, where they had beds across the hall from one another, and managed to keep each other going. But when Roy passed away, Erika's death followed just three days later. Mark, 53, from Haddington, says he wants to “pay it forward” and raise funds for the charities that supported his family through a particularly challenging time.
Mark with his sister after running the Edinburgh Marathon to raise funds for Myeloma UK (Mark Stewart)Mark, along with two of his colleagues, will complete four Kilt Walks across the country, in Glasgow, Dundee, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. The trio will be raising money for MacMillan Cancer and Mark will be personally raising funds for Myeloma UK, who supported his dad during his ten year fight. Mark said: “My dad was 62 when he was told that he would only have two years to live but he was a stubborn man and managed to fight like hell until he was 72. Three days after he died I lost my mum to cancer which was devastating for the family.
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“The story is strange, with my dad being ill for so long, mum was his primary carer and she never focused on herself at all. She was in the hospital visiting my dad one day and she was not feeling well. They took her in and ran tests and found cancer was everywhere. She was given just a week to live.
“It was unexpected with my mum but with my dad we had prepared ourselves in a way. Finding out she was so sick and did not have long left was very hard. We all thought after dad went we would get time with my mum and she would come live with us. It has had a huge impact on us as a family.
“We have three young girls aged 15, 12 and 10 and the younger two do not remember their grandparents very much. So with us undertaking this fundraiser, we can hopefully give people longer with their families as I know how desperately sad our kids are not having them around.”
Myeloma is an incurable bone marrow cancer (Getty Images/iStockphoto)While recieving palliative care in a hospice in Dunfermline, Mark says the family kept each other’s spirits up until the very end - with the dying couple close enough to see each other from across the hall. When Roy passed away, Mark says his mum ‘gave up’ and died peacefully three days later. He explained: “We managed to get them in the same hospice in a room opposite one another. Dad passed at 8pm on October 13 after being in a lot of pain and agony and my mum followed peacefully at 5.30am on the 15.
“They were a huge support for one another and kept each other going. It all happened so quickly, when we told mum that dad had passed she seemed to give up and slipped off calmly. Myeloma UK gave so much support to my dad during his cancer battle and they were terrific so I wanted to pay it forward in a way by fundraising for them. I think these organisations run on bare minimum while delivering great services.
“Fundraising should not be a worry for them and I think they should be allowed to solely focus on delivering a great service. Both my sister and I have ran the Edinburgh marathon in the past to try to raise money and she is still active with a lot of fundraising work herself. So many of us lose friends and family to cancer that I think we should all try to give back in a way if we can", he added
Mark pictured with his wife Gill and family (Mark Stewart)In a heartfelt tribute to his parents, Mark said they both did everything they could for him and his sister, adding that his mum Erika offered him brilliant support when he started his own family. He said: “My dad found it frustrating that he was diagnosed with cancer as he was always very fit and healthy, he didn’t smoke but I suppose cancer does not care and gets you anyway. The resilience he showed fighting his cancer sums up what a strong character he was.
“He was ex-army and very fit and disciplined. After leaving the army he got into building simulators for nuclear power stations. He was a hard worker and a brilliant dad who did everything for us. We feel deeply cheated he got taken so early, as 72 is really young.
“My mum was German, and we were born in Germany after my parents met young while my dad was deployed there. She was full of life and a fantastic cook. I spent hours with her learning how to cook and I now cook for my own family as a result. She was the best mum and really caring.
“She was so ill but kept it hidden as she did not want to take the focus away from dad. It was very honourable but in a way quite annoying as if she had said something earlier, she may have been able to be treated. She was just such a wonderful caring lady and a huge amount of support to us when we started our own family.”
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