Keeping secrets from your friends is bound to land you in hot water eventually.
No matter how close you are to your friends, there are always times when they do things that annoy you. Maybe they cancelled a coffee meetup at the last minute, or they don't take your relationship advice even though you know it's in their best interests. But one woman's issues with her friends go beyond petty disagreements – as she's discovered they've been talking about her behind her back for an entire year.
The woman explained she was picked to be a bridesmaid at her friend's upcoming wedding, and during a recent dress fitting, she found texts on the bride's phone "making fun" of her.
In a post on Reddit, the bridesmaid claimed she saw the messages when the bride – who she gave the fake name Shelly in her post – asked her to use her phone to take pictures of the wedding dresses to send to their other friend, Gaby, who was the maid of honour at the wedding.
When the woman opened the camera, a notification from Gaby came through and she accidentally clicked on it – uncovering their chat history. In it, she saw a picture from her own Instagram, followed by both Shelly and Gaby making fun of her outfit choice. And the messages only got worse as the woman continued to snoop.
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She wrote: "I admit, curiosity got the best of me so I searched my name in the chat. I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend, or my mum have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds. Ranging from selfies to posed shots to even a few baby pictures. They'd also make fun of me in general in terms of the way I talked, wore my hair and the way I ate. This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year."
The bridesmaid was "heartbroken" by what she saw and ended up leaving the dress fitting. She added: "I was in tears. As someone who was bullied all through middle and high school, it just brought me back to a horrible place. I put the phone in Shelly's purse and brought it to another employee, telling her to tell Shelly that I had to go. I drove home and had a long cry."
When she got home, Shelly messaged her to ask why she had left, and the woman came clean about the messages she'd seen. But instead of trying to justify her actions or even apologise, the bride was furious at her for looking through her private messages.
"She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business. She also told me I shouldn't have left the store without saying anything. I said I didn’t want to make a scene but also knew I couldn't fake being happy for her," the woman explained.
"Shelly told me the texts were 'all in good fun' and clearly she loves me because I'm going to be her bridesmaid. She added that I'm only hurt because I chose to read all those texts. Later on, Gaby called to tell me that I invaded Shelly's privacy and hurt her by walking out."
Commenters on the post were firmly on the woman's side, however. Many told her they would "drop out" of the wedding if they were in her position, but said it was ultimately her choice.
One person wrote: "If I was in your place, I think I'd drop out of being in the wedding. It's one thing to jokingly make fun of someone one time, but seems like they have done this to you a bunch of times. And it doesn't seem like it was light-hearted. If I were you I wouldn't feel bad about looking through those messages at all, she handed her phone to you and feels like fate took the opportunity to expose them to you for who they are."
Another added: "How could a year's worth of nasty texts 'be all in good fun'? Clearly, these women are mean girls and bullies who are too cowardly to attack you to your face. I'd just keep walking out of their lives if I were you."
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