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Ultimate footie sex survey reveals which fans are Premier League’s worst lovers

23 May 2024 , 10:13
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Football-mad fans tell us how they love to score in the bedroom after their teams win
Football-mad fans tell us how they love to score in the bedroom after their teams win

WITH the football season ending on a thrilling note over the weekend, devoted fans will now have more time to score in the bedroom.

But which sets of supporters have romped away with it in our exclusive sex survey - and who has scored an embarrassing own goal?

How do fans of your football team score in the bedroom? eiqrtiqktiqutprw
How do fans of your football team score in the bedroom?Credit: Getty
Gemma Keough and husband Stephen's love life is inspired by their love of Manchester United
Gemma Keough and husband Stephen's love life is inspired by their love of Manchester UnitedCredit: Supplied

Our poll has delved into the sex lives of fans from every Premier League club - and came up with some startling results.

With the help of OnePoll, we surveyed over 1,800 sexually active supporters across the clubs - 960 men, 875 women and 12 who identified as non-binary or other identity.

We found that Wolves fans were top of the league for sex - with 33 per cent romping on a daily basis, followed by Everton (30 per cent) and Newcastle (25 per cent). 

From tongue scraping to saying no, here are 12 health trends to try in 2023From tongue scraping to saying no, here are 12 health trends to try in 2023

Brentford fans were bottom of the table, sadly, with none of the respondents saying they had daily sex.

Fulham fans claimed to last the longest, with more than a third (36 per cent) boasting they averaged longer than half an hour.

But that's not the case for all of their fans. For some it's a ‘they think it’s all over… it is now’ scenario, as more than a third (36 per cent) of Fulham supporters admit being the league's worst lovers - lasting less than five minutes.

They are followed by fans of Brighton and Hove Albion (23 per cent) placing second, and Burnley and Man Utd supporters (19 per cent) tying for third.

Incredibly, many fans admit to taking their footie obsession into the bedroom, with 29 per cent of Wolves and West Ham fans saying they ‘always’ think about football during sex and a further 71 per cent saying they ‘occasionally’ did.

But if you’re after a partner who keeps their mind on the job, opt for a fan of Sheffield United or Man Utd - 83 per cent and 80 per cent, respectively, say they NEVER think about the beautiful game in the bedroom.

Randy Newcastle fans are top of the league as most likely to wear football kit for sex, while 66 per cent of Everton and 41 per cent of Aston Villa fans would rather see their team win than get it on with their partner.

Here we reveal the full-time results of our very own league.

'Win or lose, we head to the bedroom'

Gemma and Stephen appear to be typical United fans between the sheets
Gemma and Stephen appear to be typical United fans between the sheetsCredit: Olivia West

MUM OF THREE Gemma Keough, 33,  and husband Stephen, 33, are die-hard Manchester United followers.

The couple, from Chadderton, Manchester, say the survey results are spot on, claiming they regularly make love for longer than 30 minutes.

I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do itI want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it

Gemma says: “Stephen and I met at a friend’s party in June 2006 and we bonded over a love of Manchester United.

Stephen told me he couldn’t date anyone who didn’t support his beloved Man U and, frankly, I was the same.

There are times I’ll wear a football jersey to bed and it definitely gets us going.

Win or lose - we celebrate or commiserate in the bedroom

In the bedroom, the football survey results fit us perfectly.

We’re not like Fulham fans who finish in five minutes.

We like to last as long as possible. We, like our team, have staying power.

Stephen is a big fan of doggy style in the bedroom, just like most fans, apparently!

The survey found more than three quarters of Man U supporters don't think about footy when making love.

We agree with that, although on occasion it can get us in the mood.

Win or lose - we celebrate or commiserate in the bedroom.”

'I wear Brighton shirt during sex'

PARTY entertainer Jamie Bannerman, 43, is a Brighton and Hove Albion superfan and has supported the team since he was six years old.

Jamie from Chessington, South West London, admits if the Seagulls win, bedroom fun is definitely on.

Jamie Bannerman says if Brighton win, his best bedroom moves come out
Jamie Bannerman says if Brighton win, his best bedroom moves come outCredit: Supplied

He says: “I’ve been a fan of Brighton and Hove Albion for 36 years and my love for the team is the longest relationship I have ever had. Home or away, I am there.

The only reason I don't have a season ticket now is the cost of living. 

I’m fascinated by the survey results and I can say I am definitely not in the Brighton fans who make love less than once a month.

For me, it's at  least a couple of times a week and, if the team scores, my best bedroom moves come out. 

It’s more regular if the teams are on a winning streak. It definitely puts you in a more amorous mood because victory gets the endorphins rushing and helps my love-making.

If the team loses, bedroom antics are not on the agenda. I have to admit I am in a bad mood for the next couple of days and I’d expect nothing less of a die hard fan.

I wear an old Albion T-shirt to bed and it is essential bedroom wear. I reckon it makes me last longer between the sheets so I won’t give it up.

My Mrs is a Palace supporter so if our teams are playing each other one of us is up for it and one of us isn't.

On occasion, I am one of the Seagulls fans who thinks about footie during sex

I know she gets sick of seeing my team T-shirt in the bedroom and reckons it puts her in a bad mood, but team loyalty is important.

It can be a footie war in our house when we’re competing against each other. It keeps us both on our toes.

On occasion, I am one of the 58 per cent of Seagulls fans who sometimes think about footie during sex.

If the team wins, of course I will - I feel spurred on thinking about it.

I love my team and I reckon many fans' love life is affected by their team's performance!”

'If we lose, it's lights out'

JENNIE Rees, 45, has been a Manchester United fan since she was nine and admits she won’t sleep with her fella if her team loses.

Jennie, from Milton Keynes , Bucks, says a loss puts her in a shocking mood and she’d rather think about what the team did wrong.

Jennie Rees thinks about Man United matches while getting it on
Jennie Rees thinks about Man United matches while getting it onCredit: Supplied

Jennie says: “Man Utd winning or losing does rule my love life. I have followed the team for 36 years and their losses hit hard. 

If they don’t score it’s lights off and roll over to think about what the team did wrong.

On the flip side,  my team helped me find the love of my life.

I met my man, IT director Dan, 48, on a dating app 11 years ago and he’s a super Man U fan as well.

When we first spoke, and Dan found out I could match him fact for fact about United, he said I was the one for him. We hadn't even been on a date by then. 

A love of football has kept us together since and also means our libidos are in tune because we support the same team.

Me and my fella go over play by play, so of course it's on my mind when we get up to mischief

We may make up the minority but me and my fella go over play by play, so of course it's on my mind when we get up to mischief.

I do think the statistic that Man U followers last longer than 30 minutes every time is hilarious.

I don't reckon anyone lasts that long on a regular basis!

Dedicated fans like me and Dan enjoy a romp and then have enormous fun and more lengthy discussions talking about upcoming games.

A true fan like me would rather see Man U win than make love  - that’s dedication for you.

Dan’s the same and it's why we are so well connected - in and out of the bedroom.

Loving the same team and thinking the same about football keeps passion in the relationship.”

Alison Maloney

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