EKIN-SU Culculoglu has revealed for the first time the chain of events on Celebrity Big Brother that led to her being “cancelled” and shares how her “uncomfortable” appearance on Late & Live left her feeling bullied.
It comes after yesterday she told The Sun how suffering heartbreak and deceit at the hands of her ex had left her so broken, she now knows she wasn’t fit to enter the ITV spy house.
During the reality series, her housemates and fans accused her of being fake, playing a role and were also disappointed when she hit out at Only Fansmodels.
It meant she emerged to a chorus of boos and experienced death threats.
Speaking exclusively, she told The Sun: “I wasn’t my best self, and I’m not proud of CBB. It was a wrong choice for me, but I can’t blame anybody but myself. I carried a lot of baggage into that show, and I projected a lot of what I was feeling outside of the house inside too.
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“I was fake in the house because I wasn’t being myself, I was in survival mode.
“It wasn’t because I had any kind of game plan, I just wasn’t being truthful about where I was in my head, what had just happened to me, the trauma I’d been through.
“People see right through that, I can understand why they thought I was fake.”
Until now, Ekin has kept her silence but wants to explain to her fans exactly what went wrong and own her role in that.
She has now told how seconds before her exit chat with hosts AJ Odudu and Will Best, loved ones told her that she had been “cancelled” because of a bad edit.
Ekin says: “ITV have always made me feel a part of their family, and they have reached out since to reassure me, which has been so lovely. They have always taken me under their wing.
"But I didn’t have long between the boos and the exit chat and before I did my interview, my loved ones had taken me aside and told me ‘producers have ruined you, you’ve been cancelled, they’ve edited you so badly’.
"Within seconds of being told this, I was sitting in front of AJ and Will for a chat. It isn’t an excuse at all but I felt so small, like a kid who was being told off.
“I messed up and blamed the edit off the back of my loved ones comments, but I shouldn’t have said it before watching back the show myself.”
Some viewers felt the grilling Ekin was subjected to by AJ, Will and one panellist, Layton Williams was too harsh and complained to Ofcom.
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Ekin said: "I felt like AJ and the crowd in that studio were everything that had happened to me when I was young, all the bullies in one place and I was in the middle with nowhere to hide.
"It felt like the world was against me and I really didn’t know why everyone seemed to hate me so much.
"Will invited me to an event when I came out of the show, but I haven’t spoken to AJ.
“I know everybody has a job to do, but I couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable during that exit chat, it felt weird. I was made to feel like a villain. It felt personal, even though it wasn’t.
“Layton’s attitude towards me was a lot, I’m not going to lie. I was shocked.
“I was like, ‘why does he hate me so much? What have I done to you?’.
“He seemed to just have it in for me and after the exit chat and the way the audience were towards me, I felt like everyone had it in for me.”
An ITV spokesman declined to comment, reps for AJ, Will and Layton were approached by The Sun.
Shocked Ekin disappeared from public and declined ITV’s invite to attend the CBB final a week later.
She would learn that one topic in particular had irked viewers - when she overreacted to Fern Britton’s questioning on if she’d ever been on Only Fans.
Watchers thought her dismissal was hypocritical as she had risen to fame wearing a bikini on Love Island and posted swimwear pictures on her Instagram.
Ekin said she bit because of ex Davide Sanclimenti’s betrayal with some women who use the content-sharing platform.
The TV personality said: “I’d constantly compare myself to the OnlyFans models, with their perfect skin, hair, and boobs, and I’d feel threatened and my insecurities gave me a bit of a spiteful tongue.
“For somebody who has always thought of herself as a woman's woman, I was quick to tarnish Only Fans with an unfair brush, having been subject to my exes cheating with the Only Fans models.
“In my head, all Only Fans models were laughing at me, they were hooking up with my boyfriend, but that was an irrational thought. It’s always easier to blame the other girl sometimes, and that wasn’t right.
“I’ve got no issue with Only Fans, or girls who use it. It can be empowering and I’m all for that.
“But I hope people understand that for me, it triggers something traumatic, it will always symbolise my heart being totally broken and this feeling of utter worthlessness.”
Fans also disliked how she seemed ashamed of coming from Love Island.
Ekin added: “I am so so incredibly grateful to Love Island and I mean I owe that show so much, it’s given me amazing opportunities, and will never forget what it did for me.
“But it’s sometimes a little disappointing when people don’t really see me for me, they just see that dramatic girl who crawls on the floor for a snog! I want people to know me for me.
“I say that knowing, though, why would anybody really know me, when all they know is the girl who has been on produced reality shows? But that’s on me to fix.”
Ekin retreated into hershell after the programme and barely spoke to anyone as she would obsessively scroll troll’s comments online, but now she is looking to thefuture.
She said: “I didn’t leave my house for days, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I just didn’t feel anything, I was numb. “I’d be up at 3am scrolling through the numerous comments telling me to die, and eventually the death threats made me disappear.
“I hated myself as much as everybody else seemed to hate me
“But the one good thing to come out of CBB was the realisation and kick up the arse I needed to get my head straight.
“I paid to go to a retreat in France, where I could escape, I was a bit of a wimp and ran away, because the prospect of my career coming to an end was too much to handle. I took some time just to re-evaluate and figure things out.”
It means despite everything Ekin is ready to feel fondly about her time in Majorca as Love Island next week returns to screens.
The summer 2022 winner said: “When I hear the theme music it actually makes me smile because I think about how I was as a person when I was in the villa, how confident I felt.
"So I’ll always be thankful for the show. It’s everything that happened after the show that changed me.”
