'Stepmom wants to remember dead husband at my wedding - it's my day, I said no'

29 June 2024 , 17:32

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The groom is conflicted over their wedding day

A conflicted social media user sought help online after his stepmother issued a demand for his wedding day he did not want to comply with.

The troubled groom-to-be took to Reddit to seek advice when his stepmother tried to convince him that he had to display a photo of her late husband as a memorial tribute at his wedding. Not feeling it was right for him he declined the idea, only to find himself in the midst of a brewing family feud over it.

He told his story as he explained: "My fiancée (28f) and I (29m) are getting married in a couple of months. We both lost our moms. While my fiancée was raised by her grandparents, I was raised by dad and later my stepmother, his second wife.

The stepmother wants a memorial for her husband

"So while my fiancée has no drama about wanting to display a photo of her late mom. There is some about me displaying my mom. My siblings get why I want to do it. But my stepmother and stepsiblings do not.

"They feel her late husband/their late dad and their late child/sibling should also get photos displayed since they are also immediate family. But they're not my family, immediate or otherwise. Both of them had passed before my dad met his wife."

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He continued; "My stepmother feels insecure that I don't just want to have photos of late family but of just my mom, she feels like it's a dig at her because I also don't call her my mom and I'm not close to her. My dad just wants his wife and stepkids happy. Stepkids feel like I should embrace "all parts of the family but here and not here" and they said if they did the photo thing, they'd include my mom with their dad."

Family tensions have peaked over the issue

Stating his reasons for standing his ground over the issue further he concluded: "I made my stance clear and my answer was no. Which only brought more of the 'we're either a family or we're not.' My siblings stayed by my side and one of them was like well we're not an actual family so it's whatever, which only added fuel to the fire. I was then told I need to do this to restore family harmony and I should want to do this for my family. I told them I don't want to do this for them and I won't. They said it should be all three photos or none at all."

Other users of the social media site then rushed to comment as they assured him he was right to stick by his decision. One wrote: "That’s crazy that they’re dismissing your late mother and trying to trivialise the loss & her place in your life by throwing random people into the mix. Especially crazy that you’re now being bullied into it 'to restore family harmony' - how about they back off out of your business at YOUR WEDDING to 'restore harmony'?"

Another said: "Tell them that the death of your mother left a hole that no one can fill. While you appreciate their presence in your life, you will not erase your mother’s memory for them or anyone else, so your mother will be displayed and no one else."

Ayeesha Walsh