STRICTLY Come Dancing star Shirley Ballas has revealed that she asked her son’s advice on whether to quit the BBC dance show after suffering vicious abuse from trolls.
The Head Judge was so shaken by last year’s hate jibes that she jetted to America to discuss her future with dancer Mark, who won last year’s Dancing with the Stars – the US version of Strictly.
“I’ve just come back from seeing Mark and we had a sit-down about the whole thing – ‘do you want to do Strictly again? What were the pitfalls for you Mum?’” Shirley told the Kaye Adams How to be 60 podcast.
“He was absolutely fantastic. He said: ‘everybody gets it Mum, it doesn’t matter who you are, if you go on social media, somebody is going to be trolling you. So, if you want to take Strictly back, these are the rules that I would follow if I were you.’
“We sat there for many hours and I did feel much better when I came away from it, because after the Strictly tour I took a break.
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“I turned down a lot of things that were offered to me - for personal reasons. I just wanted to clear my head and see what I wanted to do – do I want to continue? don’t I want to continue?
“And my son helped me with that, so I feel in a much better place, because it was just constant.”
Shirley, 62, was left in tears last year as hate messages poured in after every show, questioning her decisions and accusing her of ageism and sexism.
She told How to be 60: “The criticism was second to none – it was really tough. I’m judged for every single thing I do.
“How I walk, how I sit, if I stand up, I’m too jovial, if I sit down, I’m too boring, I don’t like women, I don’t like men, I don’t like young ladies, I don’t like young men.
“People don’t like your teeth, they don’t like your nose, you’re too old, you’re fat; they don’t like anything.”
This year following her son’s advice, Shirley will quit social media for the duration of the Strictly series.
She explained: “I will have someone else doing my social media and I won’t be privy to all that, because it really did affect me last year,”
Former dance champion Shirley, who replaced Len Goodman as head judge on the BBC show in 2017, said that personal criticism was rife in the dance industry.
“I constantly still get that, in and out of Strictly,” she said. “I’m in one of those industries where people are always criticising someone else, always gossiping, they’ve always got something bad to say.”
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Shirley, who judges alongside Anton Du Beke, Craig Revel Horwood and Motsi Mabuse, revealed that she built a protective shell around herself to cope and that when she first joined Strictly, BBC bosses warned her that the public wouldn’t take to her.
She explained: “They said: ‘you’re going to have to let those walls go, because the public will never warm to you.’
“After the first year I said to my son: ‘what did you think Mark when you watched me on TV?’ He said: ‘well, I actually jumped back Mum, like - that’s a little bit hard. These people put their shoes on for three months, this is not the Latin American championships Mother, you can still give a good honest critique, it’s just the way you do it.’
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, so I think over the years I’ve developed that as a skill.”
The criticism was second to none – it was really tough. I’m judged for every single thing I do."
Shirley Ballas
Shirley, who started competitive dancing at the age of seven, said that despite considering leaving Strictly, she will never retire from the world of dance.
Speaking on How to be 60’s first anniversary episode, she explained: “I think I will kick my clogs in this industry, there’ll be no sitting at home in an armchair with a pipe and slippers, it’s not that kind of world for me.”
This comes after the Head Judge was given a a “take-it-or-leave-it” contract offer after she threatened to quit before the next series.
The deal would see the “Queen of Latin” receive a raise in line with her fellow judges, Craig Revel Horwood, Motsi Mabuse, and Anton Du Beke.
Shirley stated last month that she may never go back to Strictly after being the victim of trolling during last year’s series.
It was also reported that the BBC could offer a “mega deal” to keep her.
A TV insider said: “The team on the show care very deeply about Shirley’s wellbeing and will continue to do whatever they can to alleviate the effects of what’s said on social media.
“But they are also very conscious that we are in the midst of a cost of living crisis and a licence fee freeze and it’s against this whole backdrop that the deal has been put to Shirley.
“Nobody wants her to walk, but Strictly has proved throughout its history that no one is bigger than the show.”
Fellow panellist Craig insisted she was taking the wrong approach it threatening to quit due to online trolls.
Speaking on Irish radio station RTE’s Radio 1 at the weekend, he said: “I think if you’re getting abused online, you should come offline. You can just delete the app or block the person in question. It’s quite easy.
“If you don’t like it that much - don’t give up your job.
“I’d suggest just deleting Twitter. I think she’s fantastic at her job and if a troll is making her want to quit her job, then just close it down.”
