DEAR DIEDRE: I’VE started fantasising about having sex with my best friend.
I’m a woman of 25 and she is 28. We worked together at our local council offices and from the moment we met, we became besties.
We would have lunch together every day and we’ve been on holidays together too.
I’ve been single for three years. I just couldn’t find the right guy. My friend had more than her fair share of awful boyfriends.
She had guys who would ghost her and guys who would cheat on her. I was always her shoulder to cry on.
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She met a divorced guy of 31 who she thought was the one, but she went through such a horrid time.
She found out she was pregnant.
We talked it through. She was excited about it, but her boyfriend was not. He insisted she have an abortion, but in the end it wasn’t necessary, as she miscarried. Devastated, she turned to me for comfort.
One evening she lay with her head in my lap and I stroked her hair. It felt so comfortable. She looked up and our eyes locked.
I felt so much love for her, but then her tears came once more. I couldn’t sleep that night.
I’d never thought of a woman in that way before.
Does it mean I’m gay and this has been holding me back from finding the right partner?
I’ve been thinking about her constantly.
Our friendship has continued as usual and I’ve not said anything.
Whenever she talks about being intimate with her boyfriend, I imagine it’s me she is with.
I can’t go on like this.
I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it
DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe not, but your friend has enough on her plate right now.
If you confess your feelings they may be unrequited, or worse still, a sexual liaison between you could end in disaster with your friendship ruined.
Our sexuality is on a sliding scale, and while you may feel inextricably connected to her, it may be because she’s the only person to pay you attention lately.
A counsellor may help you. Contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300) to find someone locally.
Keep up the friendship but do try to date men, or women. Don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality – my support pack Finding The Right Partner For You may help you do just that.
She’s had a tough time so be there for her. My support pack Had A Miscarriage will help her come to terms with her loss.