SAM Thompson is no stranger to people knowing the ins and outs of his personal life.
Whether it’s revealing all on reality TV, documenting his prank-filled relationship with girlfriend Zara McDermott on social media, or creating hilarious content with BFF and former TOWIE star Pete Wicks, he’s used to sharing his every day with the world.
But a new E4 documentary exploring whether he has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a gear change – and former Made In Chelsea star Sam, 30, admits he’s never felt so vulnerable.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous about anything in my life,” he says.
“I like being the centre of attention for jokes and comedy, I like to make people laugh and entertain them.
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“So this was a completely different path and I questioned whether it was really me.
"But it’s the most me I’ve ever been, because I found a piece of myself that had been missing. And that is terrifying to do on camera.”
Sam Thompson: Is This ADHD? is a personal piece of film, which sees him open up about issues he’s struggled with since childhood and confront how they impact his relationships, especially with Zara, 26.
He describes the forgetfulness, short attention span and disorganisation, all while wrestling with the pros and cons of seeking a formal diagnosis.
“I sometimes feel like a w**ker,” he explains.
“My girlfriend will be talking to me, telling a story, and I struggle to properly listen to her and understand what she’s saying.
"I know she finds it tough when I’m not present during conversations and that hurts me, as I love her so much, I want to make her happy.
"I’ve felt selfish and have even questioned whether I’m just a bad person who doesn’t care about others.
"I know deep down that’s not the case.”
We sat down to discuss ADHD, his friendship with Pete, and when he’s going to pop the question…
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Q: Sam, the documentary gives us a real insight into what it’s like inside your head. It seems exhausting…
A: It is! On one hand, I’m grateful about where I’ve got to and I wouldn’t change anything.
But there’s never a balance – I’m either really high or really low, and though I enjoy where my energy gets to, the crashes are pretty intense.
I have moments where a tiny little thing means my world will come crumbling down.
I’ve had that for 30 years and have always thought I’m just weird.
Q: School was a real struggle for you, wasn’t it?
A: There were times at school where I’d just cry on my own.
When it was time to revise, everyone else would open up a book and just do it. I’d open a book and just see words – nothing would go in.
Then I’d get into trouble because the work was shoddy.
I wanted to do well and to be a model student – I was being given an amazing education and I felt guilty for not doing anything with it.
I even apologised to my parents about that.
Q: You were worried about getting assessed. What did getting a diagnosis mean for you?
The most important thing for me was getting answers and then managing those answers.
Getting a diagnosis for ADHD isn’t anything to hide – it doesn’t mean I now don’t have to listen to anyone.
But it allows me to stop beating myself up about it.
There are tools that I can give myself to try to apply myself the best I can.
For instance, it might seem small, but I’ve got a timer on my desk now, so if I have any bills to pay or admin to do, I’ll set it for 30 minutes and it helps me focus.
I’ve got a drawer full of these squeeze balls that help me concentrate – and that helps my life immeasurably.
Q: How much of a support has Zara been through this?
A: She’s the best. She’s my world and my best mate. It’s not easy for her.
I’m learning how to be a boyfriend with ADHD, and she’s learning too, as if you’re not neurodiverse, there’s a lot to understand.
It’s a testament to her that she came on the documentary and gave her all. She’s an amazing woman.
Q: Do you see yourself marrying her?
A: 100%. I couldn’t tell you when, but I’m exploding with love for her and can’t see life without her.
I’d be the luckiest man in the world to be able to call Zara my wife.
I still wake up every morning saying: “This has got to be a dream! I mean, surely not?!”
But she’s actually real and 100% she’s going to be my wife – if she says yes!
Q: We see some of Pete Wicks’ softer side in the film…
A: Pete doesn’t really like people. He wants to live in a tree with snakes, miles away from anybody.
But he’s an incredibly thoughtful guy – he’s the first person I call if I need help.
There’s a point in the documentary where he says: “There’s nothing wrong with you.” I welled up. He’s the brother I never had.
Q: Your sister Louise has been incredibly brave sharing her story of PTSD and health complications since giving birth in November 2021. How has that been to witness as a brother?
A: She’s the strongest person I know.
As her brother, it has been really hard to watch, and how she’s pulled herself back from that… I’m just in awe of her.
She’s a superhero.
I’m so lucky to have a sibling who motivates me every day and who, more than anyone else in the world, I want to be more like.
To say I’m a proud brother is a massive understatement.
Q: You followed Louise into the public eye. Is it hard to believe you’ve been here for a decade now?
A: I was working as a bartender and wasn’t friends with anyone on Made In Chelsea – they were all from a different social circle and I didn’t really have any mates anyway!
But I wanted to get into nightclubs and to get a date, which are obviously completely the wrong reasons to go into any career. I know this sounds so cringey, but I feel there’s been an element of destiny in this, because I fell into my dream job.
Do you wish you’d got the ADHD diagnosis earlier?
So much. Understanding stuff about myself and knowing there’s a reason for all this is really comforting to me.
Rather than feeling sad or a bit weird, I know what this is now. I’m not broken, I’m just different.
- Watch Sam Thompson: Is This ADHD? on E4, tomorrow.
- Photography: James Rudland, Instagram/Sam Thompson