SIMON Thomas has revealed he has been sober for a year after a secret and almost ‘deadly’ booze battle.
The Sky Sports presenter, 46, told how he used to ‘think nothing’ of downing a litre of vodka a night as he fell into a ‘dark’ place following the tragic death of this first wife Gemma.
Simon turned his life around after family and friends ‘grew worried’ as he was on the 'verge of losing it all'.
Now he’s opened up about how his drinking spiralled out of control - admitting he has felt ‘ashamed’ about his relationship with booze over the years as a Christian.
The star – who has since married again - told his followers: “One year ago today, I decided that as far as my relationship with alcohol was concerned – enough was enough.
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“For many years my relationship with drink was like quite a lot of 20-30 something men. I didn't drink every day, I wasn't an alcoholic for at least I didn't think I was ; but when I was on it - I was on it! It became an expression of me, it was all of nothing. I had no off switch. This wasn't something I was proud of & as a Christian, I felt ashamed.
“As the years went on alcohol be 3110 my social mask. Despite loving my job in TV I was never truly comfortable with the "farmer side of it. Whenever I found myself in social situations I worried that I wouldn't be the person people expected me to be. I feared people thinking I was , well, just a bit dull! I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. The answer - drink.”
Simon recalled the moment his relationship with booze changed for the worse, explaining: “And then in November 2017 my relationship with alcohol took a dark turn. My first wife Gemma died very suddenly & I was plunged into a world of fear, pain & darkness.
"For three weeks after her death I didn't touch a drop - amidst everything I was going through I somehow knew that grief & alcohol would be a potentially deadly cocktail
“But then I broke. I could sit in pain no longer & turned to the booze. For the briefest of moments it worked - it numbed the pain & I felt a sense of release from the fear filled place I now inhabited. But it only ever gave but the briefest of respites.
“What followed was always the same – I descended to an even darker , more fear filled place.”
He continued: “As family & friends became ever more worried, I was often finding ways to hide my drinking; but of course as intoxication took hold, deception became impossible. For months on end every single night was a battle not to drink.
“Occasionally I would win; mostly I lost. Before I had even really realised what was happening I would think nothing of sinking a litre of Vodka in an evening.
“Over the last few years the battle with the bottle lessened in intensity; but it never really went away. When stressful moments hit; it was still my go to coping strategy.
“That voice in my head was still saying 'go on, you deserve this.' In social situations where I felt more paranoid than I had ever done before; it became an even bigger mask. It was a destructive cycle that I felt powerless to ever break.”
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Simon went on to describe how he felt trapped until he spoke to a sober friend and made the decision to follow in his footsteps and says it the “best decision” he ever made.
