DEAR DEIDRE: I’m on compassionate leave since I lost my lovely wife three months ago and I don’t know what to do with myself.
I’m a man of 51 and my wife was 53. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and died in the summer.
As I work on the oil rigs, I spend long periods of time away. She was the sociable one and if we went out with friends they were her friends, not mine.
My parents are still alive but I don’t want to burden them with my worries. Our own children have left home and both have their own lives to lead.
I feel so alone with no real family to talk to and I’m really struggling right now.
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Every day is the same. I walk the dog and then I’m alone in the house again.
I don’t even cook for myself some of the time. I sit in the dark and cry.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry that you lost your wife. It’s natural to feel you’re struggling after losing somebody you’ve loved for a long time.
My Bereavement support pack explains some of the emotions we may feel when grieving.
You do need people around you though. Your dog is your lifeline to getting out and making friends.
Check out meetup.com for walks or other activities going on in your local area.
Sue Ryder (sueryder.org, 0808 164 4572) offers six weeks of free bereavement counselling which would really help you.
