I’M beginning to feel like Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz.
But instead of a yellow brick road I’m following a thin blue line that the helpful residents of Mazatlan, Mexico, have painted on the pavement to guide cruise passengers from the port to the colonial centre.
Along the way, retired Canadians who have fled freezing winters for Mexico’s wall-to-wall sunshine, are waiting to greet us and pass on a few sightseeing tips.
They turn out whenever cruise ships come in, delighted to tell passengers about their adopted home.
Having escaped the UK’s drab and dreary winter grey, I’m on a cruise around the Mexican Riviera from Los Angeles with 3,660 other sunseekers on Discovery Princess, one of the newest ships in Princess Cruises’ glamorous fleet.
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LA was warm and sunny and it’s heading above 25C as we sail south.
The cruise calls into Cabo San Lucas, a resort city at the southern tip of the Baja California Peninsula, Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta in Mexico and ends with two sea days getting back to LA.
In each port, active sorts are off zip-wiring, snorkelling and kayaking on various Princess excursions, while foodies are getting into the spirit of Mexico with ceviche cooking classes, tequila tastings and a salsa dancing and salsa dip-making combo.
Discovery Princess is a right royal beauty that certainly lives up to its name, with lots to, erm, discover.
This includes the Medallion, a nifty piece of tech the size of a 10p coin that unlocks your cabin door and is used to charge anything you buy on board to your account so you don’t have to carry cash.
The ship has numerous restaurants where you can refuel on freshly made pasta, French cuisine and whopping great steaks.
The bars feature mixologists shaking up colourful cocktails — with the Princess Plus fare these are included (as are other drinks) along with tips and wifi.
There are also clubs and pools for kids and teens, decadent gelato and pastry desserts that pile on the calories and Pure Barre workouts, YogaSix and other fitness classes that sweat them off.
Me? I’m heading to the peace and quiet of the Sanctuary, a blissful area on the sun deck exclusively for adults where “serenity stewards” bring us fruit on sticks and chilled towels.
Cabo San Lucas, our first stop, turns out to be party central, with music filling the air, bars galore, people everywhere and flotillas of small boats buzzing around the bay.
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We’re going on a catamaran cruise to see a rocky arch said to mark the point where the Pacific meets the Sea of Cortez.
It’s at the tip of the longest uninhabited peninsula in the world, where pirates used to hang out and divers collected precious black coral from deep down beneath the waves until the practice was banned.
It’s a bit of a naturalists wonderland out here, with pelicans, cormorants and greedy sea lions that somehow flop their fat bodies on to the back of the small boats in the hope of a fishy titbit from unsuspecting tourists.
Back at the harbour, the tour takes us to a local beach for a taco lunch and swim before we stroll back to the ship through a marina packed with millions of dollars-worth of yachts and lined with restaurants and cafes.
It could have been the South of France, except for the fajitas on menus — and the more affordable prices.
We start the next day bright and early, puffing and panting our way up the Cerro del Creston, a hill on the edge of Mazatlan.
It’s quite a climb, and there are more than 300 steps to negotiate, but the town looks magnificent from the top.
Then it’s time to get a close-up.
And so here we are, following the blue line as it zig-zags along residential streets into the centre of town.
Where Cabo San Lucas is all bling, this is the real thing, with shabby chic buildings, wonky pavements and wheezing buses.
We find a cathedral that has a touch of baroque and is doing a roaring trade in tourists and locals.
There is also a lively market with a meat section that’s a little too authentic for my liking.
We make our way through a maze of back streets to the ocean, where a dare-devil diver risks life and limb going head first into a rocky bay for a $1 tip.
Then we head back to the centre of town for a much-needed beer o’clock.
Puerto Vallarta, our last stop, gained celebrity status in the 1960s when Richard Burton shacked up there with an equally already married Elizabeth Taylor.
We’re off on a tequila tasting, which throws in some song, dance and acrobatics but also leaves time for a quick look around town.
We discover big resort hotels and miles of sandy beaches, and peek inside a grand church — a relic left by the Spanish — and the historical Casa Kimberley.
It’s where Burton and Taylor lived and is now a hotel.
Along the busy promenade, we come across quirky statues and a mother and son team selling freshly barbecued shrimps on sticks. Mexico’s answer to candyfloss, I guess.
We also find a mean-looking crocodile hiding in a creek by the busy road.
Who’d have thought they would lurk so close to town?
But that’s the thing about this cruise.
It’s all about Discovery.
