VANESSA Feltz's daughter has told of the heartbreaking moment she discovered Ben Ofoedu was cheating on her mum.
His lover contacted Allegra Kurer online, with the messages arriving while the family were opening presents on Christmas Day.
Allegra, 37, said the whole family was devastated to learn about Ben’s behaviour, which has left them all “utterly distraught”.
She explained the messages sent via Instagram to her and her sister Saskia, 34, were so threatening and cruel about their 60-year-old mum that they have called in the police.
Allegra said: “It was on Christmas Day, of all days. We were all together as a family, but Ben was away in pantomime, when the messages appeared via Instagram.
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“Until that moment we were having a really lovely time, the children were having a lovely time, so for us to just receive that via a social media account was the most dreadful shock.
“It was anonymous, and of course it revealed lots that we didn’t know — but it was also very abusive and extremely hurtful.
“But then you have to think ‘Gosh do we disrupt Christmas lunch, do we wait til Christmas is finished?’
“We don’t keep things from each other in our family and so we knew we had to share that with mum.
“But do you do that while presents are being opened, while the children are looking to see if Santa has come, while everyone is singing carols and having a lovely time?
“It was just absolutely ghastly, not to mention the nature of the specific messages, which were so horrid. Vile, abusive. Extremely upsetting.”
Lawyer Allegra added: “We waited a bit — it just felt like we couldn’t do it right there and then in the middle of Christmas Day when mum was having such a lovely time with her grandchildren.
“But that’s not what we ever want to do — we tell each other things and we share things with each other in our family. We are very close.
“So when it came to sitting down and telling her the truth, it just felt horrible that it had been brought on our family, particularly at that time of year, by some anonymous troll.
“Even worse now that we find out it was Ben who had brought that to us — and his betrayal.
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“There was no name or identity attached, but sadly there was enough information in the messages to know that what was being said about Ben was true — alongside all the vitriol.
“The only way to find out what was going on was to get the police involved, which is not a situation I ever expected to be in for myself or my family. Let’s hope they do something about it.”
The Sun on Sunday revealed how Vanessa had made the decision to end her 16-year engagement with Ben — part of 1990s dance act Phats and Small — after discovering he had been unfaithful.
It comes six years after he cheated with a club owner who runs bars in Ibiza and Thailand.
Vanessa forgave him — but later learned he had been unfaithful with other women at holiday camps where he hosted 1990s-themed parties as part of boy band Boyz on Block with Dane Bowers, Abz Love and Shane Lynch.
Vanessa, an agony aunt, said she had been forced to “take her own advice” by ending the relationship after he broke her trust again.
She said: “I feel incredibly sad, disappointed and shocked and all of those horrible things. I feel terribly humiliated, but also full of resolve.”
Vanessa met Ben in 2005, having divorced in 2000 from surgeon Michael Kurer — Allegra and Saskia’s father — following claims of cheating.
Ben had become an integral part of Vanessa’s family, with her four grandchildren calling him Grandpa Ben and Allegra and Saskia fully accepting him as Vanessa’s partner.
The closeness of the tight-knit family unit has made Ben’s betrayal difficult to stomach for all of them.
Allegra said: “I would say we are all heartbroken, all of us, and it is something that isn’t often talked about, but when a relationship breaks down people of course focus on the two people within it — but actually a whole family is impacted.
“They were together more than 16 years, longer even than my own parents’ marriage, so Ben has been in our life for a very long time.
“And when the relationship has ended in this particular way the impact on the whole family is absolutely devastating for a number of different reasons.
“One of them is to see my mum heartbroken again — she is my mother and I only have one, she has been a single parent since I was a little girl and we are extremely close.
“To see her facing this level of shock and pain is extremely difficult and even as an adult it is extremely painful.
“There is also the level of distress that my own generation has, so my sister and I are both devastated and shocked and sad and upset and deeply, deeply hurt for the loss of our own relationships with Ben.
“But I had not anticipated the level of pain and distress caused to my children and to my nephew, and boy is it bad.
“My niece is only a newborn and thank goodness for that. My own two children are shattered and broken and heartbroken.
“Their little hearts — they are people too. They have been wailing, tearful, they just don’t understand.
“He was there when they were born and he has been there at every birthday, and now they feel like they have lost him and they have. He has disappeared.
“This is a lesson about how harsh life can be that I didn’t want them to learn yet.”
Ben, 50, has yet to communicate directly with the family, who have no idea where he is after he moved out of their home. But Allegra said they have been “hugely comforted” by the support from the public.
Vanessa, who hosts a weekday drivetime show on TalkTV and TalkRADIO, alongside appearing on This Morning, had been nervous about news of the split being made public — but Allegra said fans had been “so kind” with their messages.
She said: “There has been the most incredible outpouring of support from the internet, which I have never seen before but I am not surprised — and I’m so grateful. It means the absolute world to my mum and it’s what is getting her through.
“She is so strong and she is so brave — she’s trying to use this experience to help other people and all the while she is hurting so much herself, and still finding out more and more awful details.
“I don’t know if finding out any more of the awful details really helps, but the love of a family definitely does.”
