DEAR DEIDRE: As a lifelong lesbian, the last thing I ever expected was to fall in love with a man.
The problem is I’m an influencer.
If I publicly get involved with him, people will think I’m a fraud and I’ll lose my followers and my income.
I’m 29 and being gay is central to my life. I came out when I was 14 and have only ever had relationships with women.
I have thousands of followers on YouTube and Instagram, and brands pay me to advertise their products. I also get to go on amazing holidays.
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Three months ago, a friend introduced me to her brother, who is a photographer. He’s 34.
He offered to help me with my content.
We hit it off straight away – I’ve never laughed so much with anyone – and we became firm friends.
He’s extremely handsome, and I used to joke that if anyone could “turn” me, he could.
But now it’s not a joke any more. Last weekend, we got very drunk and ended up having sex.
It was amazing. Now I can’t stop thinking about him.
I lie in bed imagining I’m with him. I know he wants to be with me too because he told me it was a shame I was gay, as otherwise I would be his perfect woman.
Could I be straight after all? Or am I simply having a funny turn?
And what will happen to my career if I go out with a man?
DEIDRE SAYS: Many people believe sexuality is fluid – that it’s not someone’s sex or gender we fall in love with, but the individual.
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It may be that you are bisexual, or it could just be attraction to this one man.
Either way, you have done nothing wrong.
You may lose some followers if you admit you love a man.
You may also gain some for your honesty.
But if he really is “The One”, it would be a shame to give up the chance of real love for the sake of followers and brand endorsements.
Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, ask him to be honest about his feelings, and discuss your dilemma.
Perhaps you could agree to keep things under wraps until you’re sure.
For confidential advice and support, contact lgbt.foundation (0345 330 30 30).