WHEN Nigel Farage stripped off in the shower on I'm A Celeb, social media was (for once) pretty much united – most people wanted to bleach their eyeballs in horror at the former UKIP leader's peachy posterior.
Not me - a married mum of two who would, quite simply, jump in there with him if I was given half the chance.
When I tuned into the first episode on Sunday I expected to loathe Nigel but he's already my King of the Jungle with one flash of his pert buttocks and the thought of his honourable member.
As ten celebrities fight it out, doing bush tucker trials, among the spiders and witchetty grubs, I know who I'll be rooting for.
I’ve always had a soft spot for maitre d extrodinaire Fred Sirieix of First Dates fame, with his delicious French accent and twinkly eyes, so when I tuned in to I’m a Celebrity that was who I imagined this year’s crush would be (previous highlights were Mark Wright and Phil Tufnell).
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But step aside Fred – because it’s all about cheeky chap Nigel now.
While Fred was moaning about his genitals being squashed and shivering at the top of a skyscraper, Nigel was calmly taking control in the outback.
He was unfazed by both This Morning’s Josie Gibson’s quips about Brexit and Nella’s hysteria about snakes – he’s probably seen a few of those in the House of Commons!
The GB news presenter calmly went about his tasks, collecting tokens with the ease of …. well a politician telling a porky pie and immediately went up in my estimation.
And the other men flopped. Fred is too serious, Made in Chelsea’s Sam Thompson is adorable but far too like a puppy to be fanciable, Nick Pickard from Hollyoaks is too beige and Marvin Humes, while clearly easy on the eye sings just a bit too much.
Meanwhile Nigel has just got better and better. When my former crush Fred laid into him about Brexit, Nigel remained clear and calm.
I’m not saying I agree with his politics – I definitely don’t – but in a world of wokery where most people are terrified of expressing an opinion lest they get cancelled, his conviction and refusal to bow to popular demand are refreshing.
I love a bloke who will stand up for his beliefs.
As Stacey Dooley regretted saying on the Andrew Marr show, “That's exactly why people find him so attractive.
"He's very concise, he's very clear, he's very transparent - whether you agree with him or fundamentally disagree, you know where he stands.”
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And happily for me he’s now standing erect in the jungle shower baring all.
He clearly looks after his body, the crinkles round his eyes show a love of laughter, he’s been photographed with a pint enough times to know he’d be good on a night out and if he’s so unbothered by eating a kangaroo’s anus, he’s hardly going to complain if my bottom’s a bit wobblier than it should be!
I’m not going to lie, his body doesn’t have the immediate impact that a bronzed adonis like Mark Wright has.
But at 36, Mark is 23 years younger than Nigel’s 59 years and I’d hazard his livelihood is more dependant on how pretty he is.
Meanwhile social media was ablaze with horror at the sight of Nigel’s behind after he whipped off all his kit.
One posted a 'green face' emoji and wrote: "Totally didn’t need to see Nigel Farage's bum on national TV."
Another added: "Seeing Nigel’s bum is not what anyone had on their wish list this year or any other year!"
A third complained: "Why would ITV show me nigel farage's bum oh my god?!"
All I could think was “how lovely that a man has no inhibitions and rates being clean all over!”
And he’s just so calm and confident – always attractive traits.
We knew he wouldn’t shy away from a challenge – he managed to get Boris to make a decision after all – and he hasn’t disappointed.
He was predictably voted in for the first bush tucker trial – The Jungle Pizzeria and rose to the occasion admirably.
He happily chowed down on testicles, penises, udders and teats – such was his composure that he could have been sipping champagne and nibbling on lobster.
He even found the energy to encourage YouTuber Nella to eat her jungle delicacies.
So while everyone else is busy bleaching their eyeballs, I’ll be the one with my finger hovering above the pause button on my remote, ready for another shower scene.
Ant and Dec can forget about their Nellagel quip – it’s all about Mellagel.
