DEAR DEIDRE: THERE is no greater turn-on for me than hearing my lover talk about all the filthy things she wants to do to me and I get really horny spelling out exactly what I see and like sexually.
But unfortunately my latest girlfriend is having none of it.
She says I’m dirty and not in a good way.
I’m 32 and my girlfriend is 29. All my previous partners have loved it when I talk really passionately to them.
I’m not derogatory so I really can’t see what the issue is.
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I’d love her to let her hair down a little and I really miss this part of sex.
I’m not enjoying our sex life as much without being able to express myself honestly.
DEIDRE SAYS: No one should be expected to do anything sexually they are uncomfortable with but it is worth talking to her and explaining how much you miss this aspect of lovemaking.
Ask if she would be willing to try some very mild talking while having sex.
If she is open to that you could potentially build up with her consent.
But I’m afraid if she is unwilling, then you will either have to accept her as she comes, or consider whether you will be happy in a relationship where you aren’t able to fully express yourself.