20 March 2024 , 23:03
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Love Island star Malin Andersson says she regrets missing out on so much of her daughter’s first year of life as she battled drink and drug addictions.
The 31-year-old reality star shot to fame in 2016 when she was a contestant on season two of ITV’s reality show Love Island. In the years since, Malin has struggled with a range of personal hardships and losses that saw her turn to drink and drugs.
In 2022, Malin welcomed her second child - a daughter named Xaya. However, she was “blindsided” when Xaya’s father, Jared, ditched them just four weeks after the baby girl arrived into the world - sending Malin down a dark path.
Now Malin has reflected on the difficult times she went through while dealing with the fact she was left as a single mother. She explained that she felt lonely - but also acknowledged that she would drink to excess when she was with friends as she battled her emotions.
Malin shot to fame as a Love Island contestant in 2016 (missmalinsara/Instagram)
Malin was left devastated when her mum, daughter and father died (missmalinsara/Instagram)Speaking to The Sun, Malin said: “For the first year of Xaya’s life, I was a mess. One minute you’re a mum, the next you’re alone on the sofa. I couldn’t handle it and I missed her so much. I was incredibly lonely and that manifested itself in a lot of negative behaviour. I bought an eight grand hot tub and would sit in it getting drunk, looking at the stars and crying.”
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She continued: “On other occasions when Xaya wasn’t with me, I’d go out boozing with friends. I was binge-drinking and taking drugs in a bid to quash all the negative feelings. Even when I was with my daughter, I was angry at my ex for putting me in this situation, and full of grief that we weren’t the perfect family I’d always dreamed of.”
Malin has previously opened up about her rehab journey as she struggled to cope with a string of personal tragedies. As well as splitting from Jared soon after Xaya arrived, she was grieving the death of her first daughter, Consy - who she shares with abusive ex-boyfriend Tom Kemp - her mother, Consy-Gloria, and the death of her father - who had battled cancer. The reality star has also battled eating disorders, lost friends to suicide and survived domestic abuse in the past.
Her split from Jared sent Malin on a downward spiral - but she managed to regain focus after checking into a £12,000 rehab program. She reflected on this life-saving change last month.
She said: “I don't drink every day. I don't wake up and want to drink. Sometimes I can go two months without it. But I was using alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism.”
Detailing how much she would drink, she said: “I would drink a lot. It could be three bottles of wine, or champagne, or whatever, then shots… Drugs weren't involved all the time, but they were if I was with the wrong crowd. Then I'd go back to normal and that would last for a few weeks - then the cycle would be repeated again.”
Thinking back to her treatment, the reality star says it was difficult and explained she was only allowed to see her daughter once a week for three hours. She said: "It was a hardest thing I've ever done, especially being away from Xaya for three weeks. I knew it was the right thing to do - not even for her - but for myself. The amount of things that we hold as people is insane and when you've gone through a lot of trauma like me, it can come out and stem in different directions, like addiction.
"There's so many different things that we divert our attention to, instead of addressing what's going on in our minds and in our hearts. Learning to be still myself was hard, but I unlocked so much stuff.”