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Netflix hit Baby Reindeer shows hidden trauma that stalking has on so many

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Baby Reindeer has taken the world by storm (Image: Netflix)
Baby Reindeer has taken the world by storm (Image: Netflix)

Netflix hit Baby Reindeer has taken the world by storm in its shocking portrayal of both a female stalker and male sexual abuse.

Its creator and star, Scottish ­comedian Richard Gadd, 34, is still reeling from how the fictionalised dramatisation of his own life ­experiences has been received. “It’s clearly struck a chord,” he said this week. “I really did believe in it, but it’s taken off so quickly that I do feel a bit windswept.”

Along with overnight global recognition for Gadd, his story has led victims to have the courage to contact charities for support. Baby Reindeer, which has been No1 in the UK and US on Netflix, is drawn from Gadd’s experience in 2015 when he fell victim to a female stalker 20 years his senior.

The title is even drawn from her comment about the comedian’s wide-eyed innocence. In the show the fictionalised character Martha is played with chilling skill by Fortitude actress Jessica Gunning, who takes a ­terrifying interest in barman and aspiring comic Donny.

Shockingly Gadd’s actual stalking ordeal follows on from him being sexually assaulted by an unnamed older male he met earlier in his career. Gadd has not revealed the identities of the real abuser or stalker.

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Netflix hit Baby Reindeer shows hidden trauma that stalking has on so manyGadd's story has led victims to have the courage to contact charities for support (Ed Miller/Netflix)

His raw adaptation of his trauma has encouraged victims, especially male victims, to seek help. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust, which runs ­Britain’s National Stalking Helpline, has revealed to the Mirror the number of male callers has shot up in the wake of the launch of the series.

“Shows like Baby Reindeer do a great job of raising awareness about stalking, particularly for male victims who may not previously have sought support,” says Tallulah Belassie-Page, senior policy and campaigns officer.

“One in five women and one in 10 men will be stalked in their ­lifetime,” she adds. Those figures equate to around seven million people in England and Wales who have ­experienced stalking. This week, which is National Stalking Awareness Week, the Suzy Lamplugh Trust has released shocking research that shows just 1.7% of stalking cases last year resulted in a conviction. And that is of those who came forward.

With double the number of women falling victim to the crime, the male victims are far less spoken about. Yet as Gadd’s tale shows women can be perpetrators too.

Netflix hit Baby Reindeer shows hidden trauma that stalking has on so manyScottish ­comedian Richard Gadd, 34, plays himself in the show (Ed Miller/Netflix)

In the series, Martha, already a convicted stalker, is seen camping out at Donny’s pub, bombarding him with emails and Facebook messages, and gatecrashing his comedy shows to heckle and loudly announce that she’s his girlfriend. When he is forced to report her to the police, she switches her campaign of harassment to his parents, accusing his father of being a paedophile. So what makes women like Martha tick? As Donny fears, is it that he gave her a free Diet Coke on the house?

Psychologist and children’s author Dr Pam Spurr explains: “Stalking, generally speaking, can be sparked by even one incidence where the future stalker attains even a smidgen of attention from the person who eventually becomes their target. Although there are a range of mental health issues that can lead to stalking, many stalkers have ­narcissistic traits. They have such utterly deluded self-belief in the scenarios they create for themselves.

“They feel they are more than worthy of their target. They think along the lines of, ‘I know he/she really loves me,’ and ‘he/she’s lucky I’m paying them so much attention!’. They may even have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder.”

Female stalkers in particular can have a love delusion, she says. “Stalkers, mainly women in this case, may have the ­delusion that someone – usually of a higher status – has fallen in love with them. Women have often had a previous relationship with their target. They often select men in the helping professions as their targets.

“There is a huge element of possessiveness in all stalking. If the stalker cannot possess their victim, this can enrage them. Men have a propensity to this sort of crime, finding it harder to take no for an answer.”

The Suzy Lamplugh Trust would agree. “We still see stalking as part of a spectrum of violence against women and girls crimes as they are disproportionately impacted by the crime,” says Tallulah. “We run the National Stalking Helpline to support all victims of stalking, so if someone has been a victim, we encourage them to get in touch.”

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The Trust believes few authorities have the staff and skill set to tackle the crime. They issued Freedom of Information requests to find out about the number of specially trained staff in forces.

“Of 43 police forces, 27 responded, and only seven said explicitly they had at least one dedicated specialist stalking officer,” the Trust said. “Sadly too often victims of stalking aren’t getting the criminal justice outcome they need.”

  • Dr Pam’s new book, Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake, is available on Amazon.

Karen Bryans

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