DEAR DEIDRE: My partner’s son is chipping away at my relationship with his mum and it’s pushing us to breaking point.
He has been living with us since last summer, when his mother was granted custody of him. He is 11 and was neglected while living with his father. We are both 42.
Since then I’ve put up with so much. He has stolen money from me. Despite his denials, I know it was him.
I work shifts and buy food that will be quick to cook when I get in, but every time I go to the fridge he’s taken the lot. So I have resorted to putting a lock on the fridge.
He can eat like he hasn’t had a meal in days and is rude and disrespectful.
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Yesterday he took my bike without asking and scratched the frame.
While I would take away his Xbox or phone as punishment, my partner won’t hear of it. She gives in to him all the time. I’m at the end of my rope.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not down to you to discipline him but your partner is feeling guilty about his unsettled childhood.
He is pushing boundaries like most children do.
Don’t be too hard on him. Remember he has been uprooted from living with his father and now he is finding out what he can get away with with you.
Padlocking the fridge may be a bit extreme but talk to him about what you expect and set some boundaries.
Tell him taking things without permission is unacceptable and that includes food. My support pack Stepfamily Problems will help.