DEAR DEIDRE: My ex-partner kicked us out into the gutter, but he still calls the shots about when he can and can’t see our daughter.
I let him walk all over me because my daughter loves him.
She is five. I’m 30 and my ex, 34, threw us out of his house when she was one and I was pregnant with our second child.
I sadly lost the baby at 15 weeks. My ex didn’t care that we had nowhere to go.
He left us with nothing but a bin bag of clothes.
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Luckily, a friend took us in, and then we moved to a hostel. I’m back on my feet now, and working again.
My ex sees our daughter every now and then - when he feels like it. But he often lets her down, leaving her very upset.
After his brutal treatment of us, I’d be happy if I never saw him again.
However, she thinks the world of her daddy, and I feel it would be wrong to stop her seeing him.
So what can I do? I think he’ll continue to pick her up and drop her just like he did with me - but she’s just a kid and she can’t see anything wrong with him.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex-partner’s behaviour is damaging to your little girl. She needs some stability in her life, even if you are co-parenting at a distance.
Because you have custody of your daughter, you must protect her from being let down.
Stand up to him with the help of my support pack on assertiveness.
Next time he wants to see her, insist he takes her to the park and that you’re going along too. That way you can talk to him about putting contact arrangements on a formal footing.
You can find help in doing this through National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, tel: 0300 4000 636).
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