DEAR DEIDRE: My terminally ill husband messaged his stepsister to ask what colour knickers she was wearing.
That turned my stomach and confirmed the suspicion I’ve had for years - they’ve been having an affair.
She’s 51 and my husband is 57. When I met him 20 years ago, he said he’d had two long-term relationships.
One was with a girl from college - but he wouldn’t talk about the other.
Now I know why: I believe it’s his stepsister.
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I’m 53 and we got married recently because he was diagnosed with cancer. I’ve given up work to care for him.
Recently, my mother-in-law died. While she was ill, my husband used to visit her in hospital and he’d always stay with his stepsister.
I thought there was something dodgy going on then because I found a pair of her knickers in his weekend bag.
His excuse was that her puppy kept running around with her underwear, and that’s how they ended up in his bag.
His story didn’t wash. I asked if he was cheating but he denied it.
So I told him he was banned from staying with her.
But as his mother’s illness progressed, his stepsister kept in contact. Now, she’s died and he needs to go to her house to sort it out.
We both agreed he should go but then I saw a thread of WhatsApp messages from his stepsister and they were so disgusting, I wanted to throw up.
She’s a nasty piece of work. She’s only interested in money but he can’t see it.
I want to leave him but how can I when he’s not got long to live?
DEIDRE SAYS: Now you’ve seen the messages,he can hardly deny the affair.
I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it
Perhaps he’s ashamed because she’s family, even though they’re not blood related.
If you still love him, tell him the game is up and he has to be honest and decide who he wants.
If it’s you, he’s going to have to creep and crawl to regain your trust.
Remember, you married him to ensure your financial stability in the event of his death.
If, as you suspect, she’s after his money, make sure you are protected.
Get advice from Rights of Women (rightsofwomen.org.uk/, tel: 020 7251 6577).
This is a free family law advice line advising women affected by any kind of change in their home situation, including abuse, divorce or financial matters.