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'I think my disabled sister-in-law is faking it – she claims she's bedridden'

17 May 2024 , 11:29
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She has been ill for almost their entire marriage (stock) (Image: Getty Images/DisabilityImages)
She has been ill for almost their entire marriage (stock) (Image: Getty Images/DisabilityImages)

Medical conditions come in all shapes and sizes. Some are obvious and can be seen, and others can be difficult to notice without any plain-to-see symptoms. But just because someone has an illness that can’t be easily identified doesn’t mean they don’t suffer as much as a person with a recognisable ailment. A man who is convinced his brother’s wife is faking her disability has revealed his delight that the couple is now heading for divorce and believes her ‘illness’ is the reason for the split.

Sharing the situation on social media, he explained that his sister-in-law says she has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is determined as a group of inherited disorders that affect your connective tissues — primarily your skin, joints, and blood vessel walls. In addition to being overly flexible, which can cause joint pain and dislocation, it can cause skin to become very weak and tear easily.

He wrote: “My brother and his wife have been married for about 15 years. Ever since the beginning, I've always felt a little skeptical of her. She's a southern gal who likes to romanticize everything. Think a Facebook junky that loves posting inspiring messages that are totally over the top. "From the depths of my soul, I wish you all to find happiness in your life. I truly do. Never give up! #MiraclesAreReal #HeHasAPlan" Etc. That sort of stuff.”

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  • Describing her as an “inoffensive sweetheart” he added that he doesn’t believe she has a bad bone in her body, but does think that she loves attention and thrives off it. Continuing with her story, he went on: “Over the last 15 years, she's had one thing happen to her after another. About 10 years ago she also started ‘feeling chronic pain’ and was more and more reclusive, opting to spend most of the time we visited them in bed.

    “Now she wasn't ignoring us, because we always made it a point to come up and even would spend time in their room watching movies and just talking, but for the most part, she stayed in bed. Eventually it was determined that she had something called Postural tachycardia syndrome (POTS), and then later Ehlers Danlos. These were both pretty much self-diagnosed and then ‘confirmed’ by doctors. But since then both of these afflictions have completely taken over her life.

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    “She started using a wheelchair, her body has deteriorated, she basically has zero leg muscles, with a much larger upper body from eating terribly. She's had highly invasive procedures like spinal fusions, ports, and all sorts of other stuff over the years.”

    One thing that really rattled the woman about her sister-in-law was how she liked to document everything on social media, calling herself a “girl boss” and getting sympathy from strangers for her situation.

    He added: “She makes a post with her sitting in her wheelchair or wearing a neck brace, and will say things like ‘Guys, I just had the best day EVER. I sat up! Normally when I sit up I get lightheaded and pass out, but today, thanks to my 3 Physical therapists, I've been able to sit up! These are the little things people sometimes take for granted, but I just had to share :) #EDScantStopMe! #GurlBoss #NotToday’.”

    He went on: “Thankfully, she hasn't tried to move into influencer status, and I honestly don't feel like she has financial incentives at heart. She simply craves the attention, the pity, and the ‘status’ as being an inspiring role model for other people and being the main character of her own Hallmark movie.”

    Getting frank about his feelings, the man wrote: “I f****** can't stand it. I think this is all b*******. I'm sure she's in pain, but that's what happens when your body deteriorates from not doing s*** for 10 years. She tries to solve all her issues with pills and procedures but doesn't do f*** all when it comes to actually working hard at rehabilitating her body.

    “I know EDS is a real thing, but I've also read how commonly it's faked. Certain types can be genetically tested for. Of course, hers hasn't. Throughout all of this, my brother has been a saint. He's never complained. Luckily he owns a business that does well enough that nothing has led to financial issues, but it easily could have since nothing is covered by insurance. He's a very active and outgoing guy, so it kills me to see him spend his entire young adult life basically being her caregiver.”

    He explained that during the last year, it seems his brother has reached breaking point, even having a short affair, which he immediately told his wife about. He added: “She's forgiven him, and basically will say things like ‘you can win me back. Lets renew vows, get me another ring,’ all the stuff you would see in a movie of course. He knows deep down that he doesn't want to win her back, and has essentially been letting the relationship die over the past 9 months. He wants to take care of her financially but wants out. He needs a life.”

    Things came to a head for the family when the couple finally called it quits and informed the family of their plans to divorce. The man snidely added: “What do you know? She has started making posts on Facebook about how she hasn't used her wheelchair in days! She can now walk a mile in a day when she couldn't walk 20 steps. Where the f*** was this 4 years ago when you maybe could have rehabilitated and lived an actual life?

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    “Where the f*** was this when my brother was wasting away his life, not traveling, not creating memories for their two daughters, having memories that he had growing up as a kid going on hikes and going to the beach.”

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    He finished: “I'm so happy that my brother is finally going to be rid of this soon. Obviously he plans to take care of her financially in perpetuity and isn't planning to have any toxic fights over money or custody. He will do what's right. The only thing now is that I'm terrified that one of her stupid ‘followers' is going to share what happened and he somehow becomes some viral villain that gets crucified by a******* who have no idea what the actual situation is.”

    People reading the Reddit post were torn by the explosive accusations with many damning the man for being so cruel. However lots were pragmatic about the situation. One person replied: “In health care for 20 years. Outlandish attention hogs get sick too. Unfortunately, they are neither more nor less irritating to work with than the grumpy ‘self-sufficient’ (eyeroll) stoics who refuse to ask for help or participate in rehab.

    “Dealing with infirmity is hard and people gotta do what they gotta do to get through it. But personally I prefer people with some perspective and a collaborative attitude, both in the hospital, and everywhere else.”

    Eve Wagstaff

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