Grasping the “welcome” stick, swaying vaguely (OK, so not at all) in time with the music and chanting, I readied myself for the “wife test”.
A Masai tribal dancer demonstrated what I had to do – jump on the spot as high as I could four times. The higher the better. Inevitably he was better, springing high into the clammy night air at the Amboseli Safari Lodge in southern Kenya.
My turn. Terrible. I soared like an anvil.
According to the local Masai tribe providing the evening entertainment at the resort in Amboseli National Park, under the watchful gaze of mighty Mount Kilimanjaro across the border in Tanzania, I qualified for just one wife. For the record, the position is taken.
In Masai culture the higher a man jumps, the more wives he can have – height earns status as the man can see further to spot the family’s cattle on the savannah. My losing leap was at the end of an introduction to TUI’s new flexible Kenya coast and safari packages, which offer a wildlife experience then a stay at an Indian Ocean resort.
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Here’s what you can expect in this friendly and fascinating nation…
The chances of seeing an elephant are very high (Getty Images)
Jumping is a big part of Masia culture (Getty Images)A flying start
You’ll travel to Mombasa via the capital Nairobi and it’s worth noting you need to collect your hold baggage, clear immigration and then walk outside the international to the domestic terminal. TUI aims to have staff on hand to assist,or provide a pre-trip briefing, as signage is poor.
Beaches and screeches
TUI has a selection of 14 hotels along Kenya’s Indian Ocean coast, offering half-board and all-inclusive. I stayed at two – Baobab Beach Resort and Serena Beach Resort – and also visited Southern Palms.
All are good with nice pools, fine restaurants and friendly service, though expect persistent vendors if you venture on to the beach. Also expect lots of monkeys. They wander around as if they own the place (they probably do) and are quite happy to visit your balcony and screech at humans. If a big male wants to cross the path in front of you, it’s his right of way!
My favourite was the Serena, a lush site in the spirit of a Swahili village, but you’d be fine at any of them.
Tree huggers
From Baobab I took an enjoyable excursion to UNESCO-listed Kaya Kinondo, at 30acres the last patch of Kenyan tropical rainforest. It’s a sacred, eco site for locals with beliefs pre-dating the arrival of western Christians and Arab Muslims and has 187 species of tree, 45 species of butterfly, and 48 types of bat.
Guide Salim showed our group “killer” fig trees that strangle other trees, and suggested we all hug a tree believed to give off positive vibes. That’s all the hugging allowed – sex is banned in the forest!
Salt Lick safari lodge (DAILY MIRROR)Mombasa matatus
The matatu 14-seat public buses are everywhere in Kenya’s second largest city and are decorated with eye-catching artwork. On another excursion from Baobab, we saw hundreds. They make great photo ops and there is some real creativity from the art students who do the paint jobs.
I thoroughly enjoyed Mombasa, taking in the symbolic Elephant Tusk arch, two Hindu temples, the narrow streets of the old town, the main square and mighty Fort Jesus, built in 1593 by the Portuguese, taken over by Omani Arabs and finally seized by the British.
It was a huge centre for slave trading by the Arabs and Portuguese but was ended by the British in 1898. For a great lunch stop try Tamarind restaurant, perched on a cliff terrace overlooking the old harbour. Fab food, service and views.
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THE SAFARI
The two sisters ambled along the dusty track, with their nine boisterous offspring following behind. Magnificent lionesses; gorgeous, playful cubs. Our expert driver Omar inched us closer.
Just feet away from our specially adapted seven-passenger 4x4 Toyota Land Cruiser, we could hear the little ones mewing and their mothers growling in response. We gasped, we snapped away, we smiled, some said they could feel a tear coming on. This is peak safari.
It was the first day of our wildlife sector and already we’d struck animal gold twice in the Tsavo East National Park, the largest in Kenya at 5,300 square miles. En route to our accommodation at the Ashnil Aruba Lodge, Omar had already found a herd of around 50 elephants at a watering hole.
Some of the babies were just two months old, he explained, but like the rest they already had red-tinted skin from the iron-rich ochre soil they wallow in. While it was hard to leave this magnificent sight, an early start meant lunch at the lodge beckoned.
Next day, after an early morning trip to see if those mother lions had made a kill in the night, we stopped at Taita Hills Safari Resort & Spa for lunch and a tour of its small World War One museum with ranger Brian. From the resort we moved on to the showstopper accommodation of the safari.
A mother lion and her cubs in Tsavo East national park (DAILY MIRROR)Salt Lick Safari Lodge is one of the finest in Kenya and is perched on stilts above a watering hole in the Taita Hills Wildlife Sanctuary. It oozes quality and has a healthy population of (grey!) elephants, with outstanding views and hospitality.
TUI packages include a stay here and it’s worth the journey alone for a night here. Like the rest of the parks, it’s rich in spectacular bird life and there’s a terrific hilltop spot at KuduPoint for sundowners and snacks by a firepit, accompanied by tribal dancers.
On to Tsavo West park, a more volcanic area with swathes of old flows, and crossing two forded rivers, we stopped at Mzima Springs for a walking tour with (armed) ranger Alex. The waters are frequented by hippos and crocodiles. Hippo spotted, crocs AWOL, we drove on to Amboseli Serena Safari Lodge in Amboseli park via cratered dirt roads hit by flooding last winter.
I will never complain about the UK’s potholes again. Mount Kilimanjaro – overlooking the park at a brooding 19,340ft – had clouds hiding the snow-capped summit until they cleared for a moment to allow enough time for a snatched photo.
The next day we had to depart for Nairobi airport but not before a 6.30am game drive that concluded with thousands of pink flamingos on a mirror-calm lake, with a Kilimanjaro backdrop. Right up there with the lionesses and their cubs and the herd of red elephants, this was a wildlife sight to make your heart sing.
TUI has recently opened the Serena resort in Kenya (DAILY MIRROR)Food and drink
I’d not been to Kenya and was pleasantly surprised. The salads in particular were fresh and full of flavour, with a variety of curries – from a history of Indian immigrants – both meat and vegetable proving a regular delight. Check out the feisty lime pickle with samosas.
I tried ugali, the national staple made from maize, and it’s certainly hearty. Spinach in various guises seems ubiquitousand it’s a tasty side for a beef stew with rice or ugali. The community-run Pallet Cafe, near the Baobab, is a short taxi ride for lunch and is a lovely beachside spot.
I had heard of Kenya’s Tusker lager and it’s a fine brew, as is White Cap. Tusker cider is also decent and I tried a sip of Kenyan wine, which was perfectly drinkable. If you’re on all-inclusive, the spirits will be local versions of whisky, gin and vodka etc. Good luck. There is an option to pay for premium brands.
Well driven
TUI has partnered with Pollman’s, Kenya’s leading tour firm, for the packages and it supplies transfers, excursions and the safaris. To drive for Pollman’s our driver, 20-year veteran Omar, had to do a five-month wildlife course, a practical exam and three types of driving tests in varying conditions.
He told me we would rack up 870miles on our safari, much of it on those weather-battered dirt roads where his skills would be tested. In Tsavo West park I asked him for his favourite Kenyan animal; like me he’d opt for a famously elusive leopard.
“Does your work ever get boring?” I added.
He laughed and swept his arm towards the lush mountains and a grazing giraffe.
“No! Look at all this! I like my job!”
Reward with the best view
In 1980, Liverpool post-punk band Teardrop Explodes released Top 10 single Reward. Sold on that, I bought the quartet’s album Kilimanjaro, which had two covers: the band or the mountain with zebras.
I chose the latter for the magnificent photo and wistfully hoped one day of seeing it. So, just 44 years after a junior newspaper reporter had that dream, it’s been fulfilled and I brought the LP sleeve with me for a photo. The zebras had not come out to play, the peak was cloudy but I learned to accept my reward.
Nigel remembered to bring an old musical favourite (DAILY MIRROR)Book the holiday
- TUI offers a 14 night Kenya safari and stay package with a full-board five-night national parks safari tour then a half-board stay at the Serena Beach Resort & Spa, near Mombasa, from £3,169pp. Departs from Heathrow via Nairobi on October 4 with 23kg luggage and transfers. tui.co.uk
- A seven night safari and stay package on October 4 costs from £2,949pp, with post-safari accommodation at the Southern Palms Beach Resort, near Mombasa, on full-board. tui.co.uk
- More info at magicalkenya.com
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