DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife is boring in bed, and it’s driving me so crazy with frustration that I’m thinking of hiring an escort.
She just lies there while I do all the work. And once the deed is done, she turns away, on to her side.
I’m 45 and she’s 40. We’ve been married for 18 years and have two children.
When we first got together, I put her laziness in bed down to her lack of sexual experience, as I was first her partner.
She was absolutely gorgeous, sweet and kind, and I’d fallen deeply in love with her, so it didn’t bother me too much.
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But over the years, things haven’t improved at all. A plastic sex doll would be more enthusiastic!
Whenever I’ve tried to introduce more foreplay, role play, or sex toys, my wife just says she isn’t interested.
Now it’s got to the point where she’s beginning to refuse to do anything at all.
I can’t take it any more and that’s why I’m considering hiring an escort to satisfy me.
I want to let my sexual personality come out – to try new positions, role play, have fun in bed.
But I don’t want to cheat on my wife because she’s my best friend.
I’ve wondered about asking her if we can open up our marriage, but I fear she won’t understand and will leave me.
What can I do? I can’t carry on like this any longer.
DEIDRE SAYS: You and your wife clearly have different sexual desires and needs.
But because you’ve put up with your dissatisfaction for so long, you’re now so frustrated that you want to go elsewhere for sex – when, really, it’s her you want.
I want my girlfriend to try dirty talk but she won't do it
This will only push you apart. Instead, you both need to compromise and be totally honest with each other.
When you’re not in bed, talk to her about how frustrated you are, and ask if you can work on improving this together. There may be a deeper reason why she doesn’t enjoy sex.
Take a look at my support pack about Sex Therapy, and ask if she would consider trying this with you.
